You're Just Damage Control For A Walking Corpse

I felt nothing. Not nothing exactly. I felt a bit in my stomach, I must have been starving. And I felt an aching where my soul should be, however it was long lost somewhere amongst the unreasonable hours in the library. It was over and yet the relief, the joy, the feeling of accomplishment was not there. I felt nothing. 

That must be what its like for walking corpses, they work so hard and still feel nothing. Nothing at all. Its because they are dead. Sometimes I feel so numb its as if I cant feel anything. This week took everything I have it seems. I am so mentally exhausted I dont know how I can even write. My body aches with fatigue and pain. My emotions are on edge. 

My bags are half packed. My clothes are still hanging to dry. And yet I have to lay down. I cant repack. I cant make sure everything is in order. It will come down to the end. Most likely to the moments before I leave. And yet I feel more at peace with that than anything else. I am finally just listening to my body and allowing it to relax. To take a few hours to not be overwhelmed with immense amounts of work. To not have to feel anything.  To remember that its just a few hours til everything changes again for a short time. I should find someone to run damage control for me. I am too exhausted to feel, to make decisions, to know whats best. Too worn out to continually contemplate he said she said words that make me wonder if there is someone possibly one day that I know or not. Too tired to write many more words to even express the numbness.

Sometimes feeling nothing is a much desired break from reality. Walking corpses dont always have it off the worst.