Blocked

The phone rang. I answered. No response. I hung up and wondered who could have a blocked number. The only one I knew wouldnt be calling. It was 3am in that time zone. I went back to my dinner. I checked fb out of boredom and procrastination. There was a reprimanding for not answering. I had answered. I called back. The expectations of a dramatic tearful other end were high. They were half met. It was tearful. The words werent coming. And when they did I wished they hadnt. The poor frightened, tearful voice related to  me the dying of a love. Not the fifteen year old boyfriend-girlfriend break up I was expecting. But the life of my, our, beloved pet slowly fading. I acted strong. I told you it would be okay. The pet hospital would help. But I knew that wasnt likely. He was getting old. He lived a good life. And maybe this was it. I stayed strong. Until now. Now that she is hopefully asleep, its okay to cry. Maybe the phone will ring again in the morning and say some expensive surgery has bought him time, maybe it will ring and all will be lost. I honestly dont know. All I know is my life has been blessed in more ways than I can ever relate by a faithful pet that spent a lot of nights in my room or by my side when I was crying or ill or when their was a storm and he was scared. My heart is breaking a little bit knowing that I may never get to see him again and that this might be goodbye. I selfishly hope something will preserve him just another two and a half weeks til I can be there. But I know that its a purely selfish desire and that hes suffering. I dont want another blocked phone call. I dont want to cry. I just want to be home and holding him and thanking him for all of the times he knew something was wrong and took care of me. I dont deal well with death. I know that. I know that very well. So please dont call me and tell me my dog is gone.