Oviraptosaur

Fact: The Oviraptosaurs resembled large flightless birds. They had slim but muscular back legs and could run quite fast. The first oviraptoosaur was discovered with a crushed skill lying near fossilized dinosaur eggs, which it likely died protecting.

I am not sure the Oviraptosaurus will be related to today, except that to me it was a protector, I bet that its friends and everyone around it felt safe. The other night I felt safe with you. Correlation established.

I recognize that the word EPIC has been found often and frequently in my most recent posts. However, this one will be no different. The other night was the most adventurously epic evening ever. It was magical actually.

It began with longboarding in the canyon. Well one longboard and one skateboard. And it was night and darkish. Luckily the moon was shining ultra bright. So basically we didnt see a single person on the path. It was glorious. Plus there is the storytelling park which I pretty much love now. You kinda broke a skateboard. oops. but thats epicish haha. Oh and let us note- longboarding with 2 people on the board is a LOT harder than you may think. Just saying. Oh and possibly the most imaginative moment in the canyon was the log you used as a rail. Nicely done.

Then it was on to Midway to see the Ice Castles. It was unfortunate that they appeared to be closed. Fortunately the fence was small. Needless to say, the ice castles were beautiful. I especially was fond of the part where you are like inside the ice tunnel. Loved it.

Then a dock on I think Deer Creek was the next destination. I think there was the first time of the night when I realized what a beautiful evening it was. The moon was way huge and it was a decently clear night, you could see a ton of stars and mountains were illuminated. It was just a gorgeous evening. I suppose by this time it was more into morning hours actually.

Then we found a freaking amazing park. Seriously I dont know when parks became so high tech! And I really want to know who invented all of the genius park toys. For instance, this one thing is like a wheel hanging from a pipe, you grab onto the wheel and as it untwists you spin. Genius. Although the ultimate toy was this twisted pipe on the ground- it was ideal for chicken fights. Who would think to twist some metal and put it inches off the ground? Genius I tell you! Oh and the last nice touch to the park was the huge fake rocks. They are basically made for sitting on and looking at the stars. As I said- this part was freaking amazing.

And there you have it. Such a unique night. It was intertwined with conversation and music and laughter. And it was EPIC, in every sense of the word. So pretty much I love adventurous epic nights.

The Oviraptosaur was found fossilized protecting its young. Last night was a late evening, and it was darkish and it was spent almost all outside. But I never once felt afraid, I just felt safe. And sometimes being with someone and feeling so incredibly safe is the best feeling in the world. Ergo, last night was an epic adventurous oviraptosaur evening. And I loved it.

Gallimimus

Fact. The Gallimimus was the fastest dinosaur! It could run at 56 km/hr and it has been said that they could not hold things. So it likely fed on eggs with its beak-like snout. It also had a long neck that it held above its shoulders- like an ostrich. It was beautiful and unique.

I feel like the Gallimimus was a fascinating dinosaur. Can you imagine running that fast? Or not really being able to hold things? Or being a dinosaur that looks kinda like an ostrich? Its all so beautiful. The last two days have been pure fascination and beauty.

Yesterday we went snowboarding. After breaking up and having my heart shattered I was second guessing spending a day with you on the mountain. Regardless, we went. And it was incredible. I think we were always meant to be best friends. Dont get me wrong, dating you was one of the best things I can even imagine. I loved being your girlfriend, but more than that, I loved that we were best friends. So now we are just best friends, no lovey-dovey relationship. And its okay. We are going to be okay. And I really realized this as you were being all Steazy and showing me how you butter way better than me haha, oh and when you ran into me. Nice one. Apparently I am the best girl you have boarded with. Holla! Sundance was great. A little icy at first, and the back mountain was so sub-par, but I really enjoyed it. It was chill. We just talked and road and kinda did our thing, you were wayyy more intense than I am. But I just took the mountain and pretty much embraced that I am decent at boarding now. I left with minor bruises but it was a turning point. We talked about being tight and we are okay. And that means the world to me. After we went for early dinner or late lunch. It was so great, chicken salad with pineapple in it is killer! Plus free soft serve is great. Then we hit the mall. And part of me misses us walking around holding hands laughing, but just walking around laughing worked out well too. So yay for best friends. ps. remember how you commented that most of my best friends are boys, well yah, I just prefer opening up to boys maybe.

The night turned into a cocktail party which was surprisingly lovely. I was plenty nervous for it. And then all was well. We were dressed so pretty and that is great. Mostly I loved the drinks. Let me remind you it was all alcohol-free. But Shirley temples are my favourite! I wish I could drink them daily. When I grow up I will have a large supply of orange juice, grenadine and gingerale to allow for this. But heres how it all went. We had plenty of juices etc for drinks and we had cookies and snacks and friends. I spent most of the night catching up with Jenni and Jake, they are both just beautiful people. Likely 2 of my favourite people to talk with as you can talk about anything with them, plus they are funny. Loved it.

Then today. So freaking epic. It started out with me making waffles. Why yes Sophie, I am a waffle snob, I will only at waffles from scratch. And I love them. So waffles and bacon and juice was basically the best way to start the day. I wish more days started that way actually. Then we decided to join some people from church for Broom ball. Unfortunately none of us really knew what it was, but Paige, Lauren, Soph and I went. I wish I could explain this better, but heres how it was. We got on the ice and got in random teams and had NO idea what to do. Yet it was perfect. Apparently since I am Canadian there were some who thought I had like a knack or secret skills for it but no. I just was not afraid of sliding into people, I mean I have hips for hip checking. So I left there with a majorly bruised and swollen knee, So worth it. Soph has a nice bruise or two also haha. Karma joined us in our broom ball adventures as one boy was way intense and everytime he tried to take me out he ended up on his face. I loved it. haha. So we love broom ball. It was social, and a workout, and hilarious. Plus I felt like I belonged there, it was never awkward or like I didnt know what to do. Ergo, broom ball is going to become a staple, or at least something I try and frequent.

Then the two boys I know best from church came over, its not even like I know them well at all, but we still had plenty of juices so drinks it was. I made granola bars as we talked. yay. And can I just note, the two Nicks are great. I love conversing with them. Yes they both are very physically attractive but they are easy to talk to. So it was chill. We just sat on the kitchen floor and drank our mixed juices and had a pleasant time, plus I mean it was sunny so we had the front door opening so the sunlight was just pouring in. Incredible.

To make life even better Soph and I went to the canyon to board. Something about longboarding down the canyon is surreal. First off it is gorgeous. It is just so pretty there. And everyone is friendly. You just hop on your board and its refreshing and relaxing. I think board sports were made for me. Snowboarding and Longboarding just bring me so much peace and joy.

The epicness ended with stopping by Big Papas place for dinner at 10. She is a doll. I love that she used to sing to me " i like it when you call me big papa" last year, Lauren is great. I missed her and didnt realize how much I missed her til we were over there.

So heres the thing, Thursday was awful. I missed you. I hated that we broke up. Friday I came to terms with it all and was like you know what I want to be happy. And I am happy. I chose to take a path with a perspective that involved loving myself and doing the things that brought me joy and it changed everything.

Sometimes I feel awkward and out of place like how I think the Gallimimus must have felt sometimes. You know, just gawky and not sure of your place. And then I remember parts of who I am. Spending a day talking to one of my best friends while Snowboarding was epic. I hope I dont want to forget that day soon. Putting on a pretty dress and just talking is nice. Waffles and trying a new sport and letting myself feel fearless and get banged up a ton, and just riding the canyon, well they all just make me feel alive.

I love the epic nature of my life. I really do. So here is to finding myself again amidst losing something special. Gallimimus; you and I both have things to be proud of, you were the fastest dinosaur, and well me, I dont know what do pull out but I am pretty sure I am diverse and lately I have noticed how obscure my likes are, but it all makes me unique. And I love who I am. And I am pretty sure that matters a lot more than most things.

Baryonyx

Fact. Baryonyx is one of the most rare dinosaurs known. It had long jaws, a flexible neck and a hooked claw on each hand. Only one specimen of this hook-clawed carnivore has been found so far.

Tonights entry is rare. I hope it exemplifies a deeper look into me. The true feelings that reside in a place I try and keep hidden.

I feel the word vomit coming. I cant even control it. The emotions and pain and confusion and frustration are too much and yet I feel so disconnected. I suppose I feel reminded of the one period in my life I generally try to forget. I feel those tendencies that accompany depression. Emotions you dont understand, feeling alone, pulling away and lashing out for no reason. And yet I feel like having experienced depression makes me all the more aware of the signs. I can see them in other people, but mostly I see them in myself. I recognize those times when I actively make decisions because I feel like I need to control something. Mostly I see the rise in sarcasm as I try to mask reality. Thankfully I am at a point where I see the signs and can recognize the need for change and can avoid falling back into depression. It almost makes it seem worth it when I went through depression as it saves me from a lot of future heartaches you know.

We broke up. I cant say I didnt see it coming, however, that didnt make it any easier. How can two people be falling in love and know its not right? I still dont understand. I also dont understand physiologically the convulsing and bitter aching pain that accompanies crying involved with heartache. Sometimes when I think about you I physically get chest pain. I do believe that a broken heart can present physically. I really do. And yet we are friends. I phoned you for fact verification before the exam, I ran into you at the market and we chatted, we are supposed to snowboard. And yet here I am, wishing I could just cry, but for some reason I cant. I just feel completely ill and broken.

So to get out of my completely selfish breakdown and to prevent myself from hurting more about something I cant change I want to completely refocus on a few things.

THE PRESENT

The kids I volunteer with are amazing. They truly are. Two of my favourites graduate tomorrow. Which is exciting, it means their mother completed the rehab program. And yet I know how much I will miss them. Taylor and Issac were always so quick to sit on my lap or attack me. We read books and played on the swings and did crafts together every week. I will miss them. And with Trinity and Tristan gone too now I have no one left to teach me about "Cougar Mountain Lions" haha. Luckily there are still other children. Today one taught me that if she held a Mr. Potato Head up to my ear that I could hear the ocean. Those kids remind me of the joys that come from the simplest things. Being around children makes me happier than most things. I mean last night I was at Sophs house and was reading to Cy from his chapter book, and it was amazing. Beauty is most often appreciated when you finally get out of your self-absorbed stressed out mind.

THE PAST

This past week has made me think a lot about my experiences at BYU. I mean 3 more months and I wont be here any more. Somethings became like a cycle. I mean every winter semester, Februaryish I meet a boy. And its like a story. Boy and girl like each other. Boy and girl date. Things seem awesome. One day things end. Girl moves back to Canada. Its almost become predictable. Yet I have changed so much over the years I hate the predictability of it. I used to avoid commitment. I was too afraid and wanting to be free. Now I feel that I have learned to love myself and find joy alone and want to share all of those little things that comprise me with someone else. I think for once I am looking for something long term and committed. Also in looking at BYU I remember coming here thinking it would be forever. There was a boy I liked back home and 3 or 4 years in the states felt like an eternity. Now that its almost over I dont know where it all went. And now I scarcely see that frightened 18 year old that moved across the border to a city where she knew no one to a school of over 30,000, when I look in the mirror. I have changed. I found myself. I found genuine interests. I found out how to live on my own and take care of myself and how to make it through trials that seem like they will kill me. I faced failure and pain and ache and counselling and despite it all I have had an amazing time. I have grown into someone I love and I feel ready for the world.

THE FUTURE

So heres to change. I am terrified to graduate. I mean finding a career or crossing my fingers for grad school seems so much more of a reality than being a student at a huge religious university where pretty much everyone has the same standards. But then there is this part of me that cant wait. I want to travel, I want to be back in the world where people are more diverse and where I feel like I am making a difference. I want to contribute to society.

So as messed up and random as this entry was I feel okay about its. Its like a rare writing of my life. Its me feeling broken, missing you so incredibly much, not because part of me hoped it would last, but because you became my best friend. In a month you became the person I wanted to tell everything to, you saw what it was like when I opened up completely and you made me a better person. So I miss you entirely. This entry is me recognizing my feelings, allowing myself to feel the pain and ache but to control it. To avoid depression and loneliness. To release everything in a healthy way. But also to take into account the beauty of my life. To see the things that make me happy. And to look towards a bright future.

I feel like this lyrical journey is rare. Like the Baryonyx.

Hypsilophodon

Fact. The Hypsilophodon was a small and nimble herbivore. It had no armour or sharp fighting claws; so it had to run away for defense.

Things have been incredible lately. I feel on top of school, I have a boy I really care about in my life, I opened a beautiful package from my mother and I have some incredible friends in my life. But for some reason I am lying here feeling like a Hypsilophodon. I feel like I have no armour or fighting claws.

This goes both ways. Its a beautiful thing, but it is also terrifying. I feel like lately I have become more at peace. Less high strung. You know I used to be a lot more violent almost, in my attempt to avoid feelings I would come across more aggressive and be all "lets fight". When really I meant things like "yah I am kinda upset or emotional or whatever" and really needing to talk about something. So its beautiful thing that I have reached a point in my life where I am not so armoured and trying to shield my emotions and self to avoid being hurt. And my lack of fighting claws lately has led to more meaningful relationships and the ability to get to know people better. So my Hypsilophodon-like qualities can be useful.

But this sword of speech is double-edged. Due to my lack of armour and mad ninja-like fighting skills I am vulnerable. I think I realized this as the other night as I was talking about a foster sister I lost and I cried. And then tonight after talking to my brother and I cried again. As you held me two nights in a row while I let out vulnerability and realized that my armour was gone. Somewhere along the road I have learned to open up. I let out the things that are hurting or my fears. And the fact that my armour is gone is really scary. It means my heart is out there. I am putting my emotions and everything more on the line.

But I know that there are people around protecting me, it would be like having a gang of velociraptor friends sitting in the bushes just in case someone hurt me, you know- just waiting to stick up for me.

But sometimes I miss my old armour and fighting ways. Its a lot easier when you have a shield up.

I think that overall this is good for me. Opening up to Soph while we talk on our beds at night, or opening up to my boy when he can see that I am hurting, well they are both just good for me. Sometimes you have to lose the armour and allow yourself to become vulnerable if you want to let your relationships grow and learn who you really are.

So Hypsilophodons and I have a lot in common and I think I am okay with it, because I am gaining a better perspective on my own life and I am becoming a better person each time I shed my armour and connect with someone.

Giganotosaurus

Fact. The Giganotosaurus had a smaller brain and bigger hands than Tyrannosaurus Rex. It may have weighed as much as 25 people.

So I find it kinda hilarious and ridiculous that there is a dinosaur with an even smaller brain than the T-Rex and that they specify that its hands are larger. I think the real reason for my choosing of Giganotosaurs is because its different, something unexpected but not so far out there that you dont believe in it. Lately I feel like everything going on in my life is almost a little bit of a shock but still believable and real.

You know that feeling when you have been asleep or in the dark for awhile and you have to go outside or into the light and you have that shock, you want to turn back or just close your eyes because it is different and slightly uncomfortable. But the best thing to do is push on and let your eyes adjust to the light. I feel like that scenario is my current life situation. Things keep happening, that perhaps I walk into and I have to figure out how to deal with that shock or change.

The first change that sparked this spiral of growing up and walking into the light, occured last friday. I was ready to really figure out what I was going to do with my life. Graduation and the MCAT are only getting closer and I felt like it was really time to get a handle on things. So, being religious, I did the only thing I could do. I did my part and then put it all in God's hands and asked for his help and guidance. And my experiences that afternoon were glorious. I have always believed in God but there are those times when his love for me is just so reaffirming. So long story being made slightly shorter, I am sure I want to do Physical Therapy. Cool eh? I am really stoked about it. I just know that I will love it and be good at it so now its just working on getting into a school, which will be really hard, but worth it. So I have some direction. And in all honesty, it was hard to take a step back and realize that I might not have been on the ideal career path for myself. And it took swallowing my pride before I was even able to consider these changes but I am happy, really happy. Physical Therapy just fits me so well and so cross your fingers that this is that right path and that I get in somewhere. But yah, adapting to a change in my future life plans was worth the awkward uncomfortable feeling of facing the unknown and walking away from the only future career I had imagined. Sometimes walking into the light brings a lot more joy than you can imagine.

Friday was not just a spiritually reaffirming day and career altering day it also brought surprise and fear and pretty much every other emotion you can imagine. The boy that had made me so happy, but also slightly crushed my heart, and I had plans to just chill. I will admit I was as nervous as can be but excited, it felt like going to see an old best friend. You know, that person you know you can just talk to about anything, no matter whats happened. It was incredible. We just talked and laughed and read riddles, which was like a flashback of my whole childhood since my mother and I would read logic problems, whodunits and riddles every night when I was growing up. I cant explain it, and I dont think I even want to try to because when I close my eyes I can still imagine it. It was just one of those nights when you are happy. You feel comfortable and you laugh and you do ridiculous things but its all just great. And then as it all came to a close it became apparent that feelings hadnt really changed. Unfortunately it meant hearing hard things and talking about the break up and all of that, but ultimately it was what needed to happen. I went home scared, maybe even terrified, but also ecstatic, there was still something so real there. Its not often you meet someone that just makes you smile and that you feel like is a best friend no matter what.

(That paragraph was overwhelming me so I just started a new one). Well saturday came and went with reading childrens books, even with a random child. And I mean this is me, of course I loved it. Robert Munsch shaped my childhood with his works of literature. They are like pure magic. Sunday involved a walk, and for once me really bringing up how I felt. And I would say that it was then back to before, but it wasnt. It was better. Everything seemed more real. Maybe it was like we had gotten through a fight. I dont know. All I know is that yah I am scared. Relationships are so freaking scary. But I decided it was worth it. I would rather watch myself get hurt again and have this great experience than to just miss out on it all. You are worth it I guess is what I am saying.

For example, last night when we made smores and melted stabursts over candles and then painted dinosaurs, it was just perfect. Thats the way I like things. Simple and in its own way romantic. I know this is rambling and perhaps its went on for too long as I have went the long way around the point. You came back into my life, and it was more intimidating than that porch light after falling asleep on the floor but, like the warmth and the glow of the light, you drew me back in. And I would say its worth it. I like you.

So as the Giganotosaurus draws my attention with his peculiarly small brain I am fascinated with the turn of events in my life. I didnt expect to be taking a new path with my future and I didnt see you coming back into my life as more than a friend. But it all happened. And in my imagination the Giganotosaurus was simple yet happy, and thats how I feel.

Compsognathus

Fact. The Compsognathus was about 3 ft tall, and reached just below the Barosaurus' ankle. It had long legs for running fast and was a carnivore.

I think that if I was such a small dinosaur I would have to be very courageous, you know, killing other dinosaurs for food when I was small enough to be crushed by the foot of a Barosaurus. I just picture the Compsaognathus as being brave, thats all.

Today was one of the most epic days I have had, possibly in my whole time at BYU. The timing could not have been better, after last night I felt so ready for something incredible.

It started out so basic and typical, in the lab for class at 7, studying the lower leg ligaments and muscles with a friend at 8, 9-12 was occupied with volunteering with my favourite kids, and by 1 was off to Sundance to board. Typical. The weather was so sunshiny I was worried the mountain would be icy, making boarding less than ideal. Yet once I arrived and commented on the lack of snow it began snowing, and really didnt let up til 2 hours after we left the hill.

It was beautiful. There is something peaceful and renewing about boarding while it snows. Your tracks are covered so quickly that by the time you get back to the top you cant even see where you were last time. It was the most chill time ever up there. We were just in a mood to embrace nature and be one with our boards. Maybe it sounds cliche or gay, whatever. It was amazing. I felt a more real connection with my board and s turns were natural. I guess I have improved more than I could have imagined this season. Regardless, it was just the event I needed to remind me of who I am and the joy I can find in simple things, like watching the snow fall while on the lift.

I really would have been thrilled if boarding was the only epic event of the day, even the week. But I was so blessed. I had a chance to conquer a fear. I know it sounds crazy, but yah I have been a lifeguard for almost 6 years and yet I hate going off the diving boards, they terrify me. So I took diving lessons today from a previous Olympic Diver, and Olympic judge. I practiced with his club team today so I could try and get over my fear. The little diver girls know me well and were astounded that I was getting in with them. But none of that mattered, all that really was important was that I had someone that believed in me more than I believed in myself. Keith has always known I could dive if I just pushed my fears aside. So I started with the forward line up dives and progressed to handstands/walk overs and then back dives. I was petrified of the back dives, I mean it just seems dangerous, but I did it. And then I learned how to properly hurdle and started working on a jump front dive. Perhaps it seems basic. But I was so scared.

DO ONE THING A DAY THAT SCARES YOU.

Today I decided to learn to dive. And yah, I screamed a few times mid-air. And I am not embarassed by it. Its not everyday you can go home and be proud of yourself for facing something you are afraid of.

Today was epic. I had the most beautiful time boarding and I overcame a fear, and enjoyed it.

Oh and my little black princess called tonight, she had soo much energy, you could tell through the phone, she was squealing about running. haha. Apparently sometimes she carries my picture around the house, and whenever she does my mother lets her phone me. I miss her, and the rest of my family. As expected, hey.

Well I just wanted to note the epicness of today. I loved it. And doing Ochem tonight has sucked less than usual because I am so happy. Sometimes I need to just be sad and realize that something upsetting has occurred. And other days I just need to be stressed because it pushes me. And sometimes I just have to embrace the miracle of life and nature and just be happy beyond belief.

I love the ever changing nature of everyday life.

Troodon

Fact. The Troodon had a light and delicate skeleton. Troodons had large eyes to absorb more light to improve night vision.

I had no intention of blogging today. The last few days I have had little desire to write; I havent wanted to write notes, or blog, or in my journal. Nothing. And then it hit. I ran across a blog I had not read before. Yup, it was yours, and conveniently you blogged this weekend about your weekend, oh and reverting to single life. Sadly, that had meant I had once again joined single life. And then, for the first time really since it ended and I cried it out, I felt sad.

I know it sounds so simple. But I am not really known for being overly emotional. I try to avoid talking about things that make me upset or feel vulnerable. And yet here it is. I feel a void I didnt know was there. We are friends, and we talk and its lovely. Then there are moments and you say things that catch me off guard and then I dont even know what to think. But I guess I miss you, and I didnt even recognize it til now. I miss just sitting and talking about whatever, or fake fighting and other stupid things. That sucks hey. Maybe I just need to wait it out and tomorrow it will be fine again. I mean its been a week. I will be fine.

So I chose the Troodon because its eyes are so big they look sad to me. And thats kinda how I feel right now, most of the time when I am sad you can just see it in my eyes, they are a dead give away.

Dont get me wrong. Life is amazing right now. I am running almost everday, I am boarding tomorrow and am getting Dive lessons from an old Olympic Diver for an hour, I mean those are all cool things. Plus I have been keeping up on yoga and maintaining balance. And I am applying to a school I am stoked about. So it really is not like things are awful. Life is in balance for the most part. But I think tonight I will just let myself have a few moments to miss you. Then I will once again accept the reality of life and move on.

C'est la vie.

Deinonychus

Fact. The Deinonychus could run very fast when chasing prey and it had a stiff tail that it used for steering when running and jumping. Cool hey?

So today I just liked the Deinonychus because this kid I sit with in class drew a raptor on his page because I told him drawing dinosaurs was cool, and it looked like this one.

Sometimes I wish I had a tail, like a monkey tail to hang upside down by, or a fox tail, it would be elegant. But mostly I like the tail of the Deinonychus because it provides balance. I love balance. Whether its when I am doing a yoga posture or just in those moments when I find balance in my life.

Lately I have been more at peace with my life than ever before. I am not even sure why. I think part of it is because I have taken time to reflect. Maybe its because for once I let myself stop and realize whats really going on in my life. I mean I let myself have time to be sad, and to stress about school, and to contemplate a huge change in my future. And then I changed.

I went to the park and did Yoga, and as I was meditating I recognized how blessed I am and how happy I am. I am so at peace with my life. And everything feels balanced. I actually feel on top of my school work, except O-chem. That class perpetually slays every fibre of my being. I think I have two rebuilt friendships. One from someone I havent seen in awhile, and one from the end of a relationship. And both are going to be pleasant. I have the best roommate ever and my mother and I are much closer lately. Life is in balance. At least for today.

The other balancing act of my life feels like in that Dr. Suess Book, Cat in the Hat, where the fish is balancing on a ball, holding a cake and a million things. This portion of my life is planning for the future. I have spent the last, what feels like, 71048374892345 years planning on being a doctor. That was all there was to it. Then one day, during this period of peace and introflection, I realized I was not sure that I wanted to go to medical school. Part of it is purely grade related, I really do not think there is a huge chance of me getting into a school. I realize how competitive it is, I realize that you have to be intelligent beyond belief. And currently I am not in that category, not completely academically. And I do realize that I have a lot of other skills, I have research and work experience, I have volunteering hours and dedication and desire. So I have a lot to stand up for me. But then I realized, yah I do want a lot of things in my life. I may only be 21 but I do want a family one day, and I want to have kids I can take to the park and teach about dinosaurs. I want to travel, I want to do a lot of things. And I feel like that will be slightly inhibited if I go to med school. But then I realized all I could imagine was being a doctor, or something absurd, like Jurassic Park or unicorns. Luckily, last month I began being less stubborn and realizing that Physical Therapy caught my eye. I love my class about it. I love the thought of being a physical therapist. Its hands on, medical and life changing. And its only 2 years. This seems ideal hey? Oh and the school I have fallen in love with and want to go to is in Australia. No big deal right? So thats all. I think I am changing my life plans. And I am okay with it. We will see what happens.

But for now, I am living my life of a balancing act. And it feels in balance. And I am so at peace and so happy. Therefore, things are splendid.

love.