Completion

As the semester draws toward a close the winds of change are ever rising.

With only 8 days of classes and Sundance opening in another 10 things are changing. I have completed all of my assignments, minus the ochem one as we have not been given it yet. Ergo my stress is minimal. I have picked up work hours this week and next to compensate for Christmas shopping, reducing financial stresses that I seem to find. I ended a friendship based on nothing with someone that could never think of others more than himself. And it was wonderful, because I no longer feel weighed down by his overwhelming inadequacy. I have plans already for Saturday night and am thinking of going to Salt Lake during the day to this garden. Weekend plans are so unlike me. Yes the winds are blowing. And for once I am riding them instead of resisting. I think this semester has been oh so healthy for me. Love.

When Future Aspirations Become Your Present

One day you wake up and realize those aspirations are no longer amidst the horizon, they are sitting on your porch. Now what?

So here I am. It has been so long, so, so long. And now my life is consumed with thoughts of medical school. I spend evenings pouring over my MSAR, looking at every medical school and wondering if I should apply to it, and what my chances of an interview are. I read, and re-read all of the MCAT information that you have to known prior to even registering for it. I contemplate which MCAT prep course to take, and when I will have time to study. I look at all of the MCAT dates for this spring and try and sort out which one I will take. April 23 is the goal. But it is so consuming.

I have dreamed about being a doctor for ages. I want to so badly. I can scarcely begin to write out how much I want this. And it almost feels like its suddenly arrived. The planning and calendaring and everything used to seem like just jotting down notes for the future. And now the future is here, its my present. And I would not want it any other way.

The rush I get just looking at medical school information is thrilling. The thought of having an interview. Or thinking of having my personal statement done in such a way that it compels someone to want to meet me. It is all exhilarating.

So in short, as I stay up those few minutes later each night or procrastinate something just a little longer, it tends to be because I cant take my focus of medical schools. I want to be a doctor. That's all there is to it. And I am finally at a point where my aspirations are waiting to come true. So its a make it or break it time. oh and I am so ready to do everything in my power to make it.

I love sitting here feeling like I have aspired to something that makes me happy. That even though everything about getting ready to apply for medical school scares me so much I want to cry sometimes, this is everything I wanted it to be. It makes me happy.