Corythosaurus

Fact. The corythosaurus was bipedal and had hoof-shaped claws and padded toes on its hands for walking. It liked eating tough ferns and pine needles.

Today the Corythosaurus seemed appropriate because it looks so peaceful. I mean its just chilling eating some fern. No big deal. I left class early today so I could do yoga in the park. After 45 minutes I felt so at peace with my life. I wasn't hurting after anything that happened this week, I wasn't feeling guilt or dread about taking a new life path. And for once, I was not feeling overwhelmed and drowning because of my own stress. I felt so alive.

I think I am mellowing out. I ran into someone yesterday that I used to harbour ill feelings towards. And I saw him and it was like "Oh hey". And it was no big deal. I think there is a point when you just completely move on and grow up.

Yesterday morning I had a chance to talk to one of my best friends in the world. As him and I chatted I think it hit how much of an influence he has had on my life, but by the end of the day I think I for once saw how different we were. I had this image in my head of making him travel with me, we are both adventurous and into that sorta thing so why not. And then for a second it was like a fog was lifted and I saw reality, I want to travel and see the world and experience crazy things, he likes travelling and partying. I love you dearly, but you were right all along.

I dont think I want to be a doctor anymore. I know crazy hey. But its my life and I can change my mind as many times as I want. So I changed my mind. I really feel like Physical Therapy would be a perfect fit for me. I dont really want to be in school for another 8 years, and I love my class that is all about Physical Therapy. Thanks for helping me open my eyes to that. So I think I changed my mind.

C'est la vie.

I am happy and I feel so at peace. And today, thats all that matters.

Stegoceras

Fact. Stegoceras were goat -sized and not very fast.

Today I chose the Stegoceras because they look so vulnerable. They are not very big, the T-Rex totally chases and eats it and its not even way fast.

Today was a vulnerable day. It was one of those days where I woke up and felt so ill, ended up sleeping it off and realizing I had completely put my heart out there. Unfortunately, today was also the day that relationship ended. As much as I wish I could say I was angry or he was a tool it wasnt like that. I am hurt, and really I would have sworn it was not physically possible for me to cry as much as I did tonight, it just didnt end. But I have no regrets. I think this was the first time I really put everything I had into a relationship. I opened up, I went out of my way to do little things, you know. So yah, it sucks. It sucks to be so small and vulnerable and to feel like a T-Rex is ripping you apart and that you cant do anything to stop it or change the course of action. It hurts so much, but this is life, I learned how to actually handle a relationship in a normal way, no walls, no games, just straight up. I was reminded of what its like to actually be around someone that makes you laugh and smile all the time. It was amazing.

So as much as I want to scream or break something, or just keep crying, I can actually see that as much as something beautiful is gone, it had a purpose.

Sorry I wont be able to pass you random notes full of drawings, or texts with obscure thoughts, but you'll respect how hard it is for me I think. See you around.

Stegosaurus

Fact. The name stegosaur means "plated reptile". The stegosaur group survived for over 50 million years. Their plates were tallest in the hip region.

So today was amazing. In fact looking at the day a lot of mediocre and even not great and basically lame things happened. But sometimes it just takes a few moments to make everything better. So regardless of two exams I am happy.

I have enjoyed the last 7 days immensely and I feel like Soph and I are just getting closer and closer and its lovely. I mean who doesn't love pillow talk every night? Everyone loves it. Soph is the best. Honestly I feel like her and I get each other better than most people can imagine. Our lives sometimes feel like they are on the same tractish since we always have similar things happening. We even have our meltdowns together. Hm. Well I adore her.

Plus I talked to my little black princess again today. I love that kid, she had to stop talking though because she was making brownies haha. Mum is way brave to let a 2 year old make brownies. There is just something about family. That is for sure. That and my little sister is looking for a grade 8 grad dress. How wierd. She is growing up way too fast.

Oh and I think I just realized that I havent spent much time with a guy that really treated me amazing in awhile. Oh but then I found a stellar guy. So lets see what happens. I am happy though right, so no big deal, he is chill.

Hm. I think today feels like a stegosaurus day because its as if its lasted 50 million years but full of so many things, that and I mean hips dont lie..

love.

Barosaurus

Fact. The barosaurus had a very long neck balanced by its very long tail. It also did not chew its good, it swallowed tough leaves and twigs whole.

The Barosaurus was todays dinosaur as yesterday a comment was made on the disproportionate dinosaur on my blanket. It is not as disproportionate as thought I am pretty sure.

Life has me pretty stoked lately. It is a long weekend, which was needed on every level possible. Plus after spending all last weekend moving it felt like I had not had a weekend in 2 weeks. So today was a breath of fresh air. Although its been rainy, so I did not do yoga in the park, thank goodness I did yesterday.

Also I have had a way enjoyable weekend. Too often it feels like weekends pass with little to account for, but not this one. I was definately at work more than I wanted to be but I also went for cupcakes, had a girls night, a movie night, and a lot of talking. And today still has a few hours. Hopefully Avatar will be good and I kinda want to just get all snuggled in and watch Paper Heart after. Who knows. All I am getting at is this weekend was amazing. I am happy, throughout, and it was relaxing.

Plus I got to know someone and it was really nice. You know, to just talk about life and where we came from and goals and fears and reality. I think occurances like that do not happen that often. So you really need to embrace them. Oh and I think this is the only important part of this post. So here goes. When you meet someone that makes you laugh, and you feel like you are just smiling incessantly and cant help it, well I am pretty sure you are supposed to keep them around. So I think I found another person that I am happy to be around and I am pretty sure I will be trying to keep him around. Regardless, I am happy and settling into my new home.

Sorry, a kinda boring post. But I pinky-swore to Kaity that I would blog weekly. So I have to maintain that. Love.

Ankylosaurus

Fact. The Ankylosaurus' were known as the armored tanks of the dinosaur world. They had clubbed tails formed by bony plates that were fused together, this was their most formidable weapon.

The Ankylosaurus is my favourite dinosaur, it exudes beauty and strength and is known for its protective nature of its young; hence I feel it is an appropriate beginning to this epic journey of my writing.

I am nearing one of those checkpoints in life. Close your eyes and remember playing like Super Mario Brothers and when you have to reach certain points or when you die you go back to the beginning, don't act like you dont know what I mean, because I know you do. I am at one of those points. With graduation fast approaching I am reaching a spot I wont be going back before. I wont be going back to undergraduate studies, and its highly unlikely I will even be at BYU taking classes again. Checkpoint.

In the observance of this checkpoint reality is definitely hitting. For once I have to find my own path. I wont just be going to school and working. I will be looking for a job I want to do long term, and waiting to hear back from graduate programs and medical schools. Its kinda a huge change. I have gotten so used to just being a student and working in the summers I actually cant even imagine what it will be like to be in a different place. I mean I can sit here and imagine Unicorns and dinosaurs and when I hear stories I can draw them out in my mind, but its like trying to imagine my wedding, I just draw a blank. I would be the worst fortune teller ever, I have little vision of the future. Although that makes it sound like I don't have a future. Its not like that, not at all. I just don't know where the future is taking me, thats all. Oh, and surprisingly, I am okay with it. Initially the unknowingness was killing me, but I decided to take it all in. This is going to be such an epic adventure as I figure out my real future.

However, in all of the changing and growing up I have found myself more I think. I have learned that the only way I can deal with stress is to think it out logically and then to meditate. I am pretty sure knowing this will save me at some point. Or like every other week when I have 700 thousand exams. Or like how I realized how happy coffee shops make me. There is something therapeutic about sitting in a coffee shop with someone. Although there is a major stipulation, it has to be with someone you can really just open up and talk to. I find coffee shops bring out the real me more than most locations, its like they lure me in and their quaint atmosphere just opens me up. Perhaps I should live in one. That would actually be amazing..

The reality of all of this incessant word vomit is me realizing my life is changing. And it's as if I should be growing up, and I am, but I have decided to not lose myself in growing up. I will still play pokemon on my gameboy between classes, I will still read about dinosaurs, and imagine unicorns being real. And as ridiculous as I am, well I am happy. So I will take my longboard, and my plaid shirts, and meditating and coffee shops anyday and everyday, over conforming. I am happy with who I am, and I am pretty sure thats what is most important right now. Hm. Epiphany. And this is why I blog. It brings out how I feel in ways that I dont realize, until I start writing it.

Moral. The moral of this novel of thoughts is that life is changing. I mean the ankylosaurus was such a powerful and majestic creature but change brought about its extinction. No matter how in control we think we are we really have no idea what is around that dark corner, or whats underneath the water below. So instead of stressing about the future and finding yourself walking about with nightmares about the future, its best to just find what you like and stick with it. I am not saying avoid change, infact, EMBRACE it. But while you are on a path towards change don't forget who you are and what makes you unique. All those quirky things I like is what shapes me. So I am going to look for a jump rope and perhaps swing in a park, because it will be fun.

Thanks Ankylosaurus for your beauty, perhaps one day I will leave a legacy to inspire like the way dinosaurs inspire me. Peace.