YVR

I had a chance to make a stop. I stopped in a city for 8 hours. Not because I couldnt get a flight home in time. Only because I needed to see someone. Someone epically impressive. So there I was. Walking through an unfamiliar airport hoping to see a face I knew. And there you were. It was one of those days that worked out more perfectly than anyone could imagine. You had found a place for me to store my bags and off we went.

Maybe magic and excitement comes innately when you are in a new city, or maybe it comes when friendships are rekindled. Or maybe it just comes when you buy 20 timbits and walk around eating them all. There is a familiarity in the unfamiliar sometimes. The 8 hours turned out literally perfect. From the little girl that joined our photo to the quidditch at the science centre every moment was brilliant.

Sometimes stops along the way to a destination feel hasseled and unneccesary. I am frequently guilty of this thought process. Yet last week it was the best choice I could have made. Memories were made and laughs were had that reminded me of the brilliance of life. You are the best fake boyfriend I have ever had.

My New Level of Classy

This is unordered. However, this is most recent and I would like to depict it.

I am home and it is snowing and heavenly. The furnace is on keeping me toasty warm and it is basically like I have died and gone to the most magical heaven you can imagine. Yet I woke up feeling ill, no worries I went back to bed as my plans were to begin at 2. I was finally going to go to "Colour Me Mine" and obviously the best drive through on earth after. This was going to be true sisterly bonding. SO we drive nearly there and I am all "I need some air" so I roll down the window and let the freezing air in. Then I decide she should pull over. And if you know traffic on 14th it is near downtown and never going quickly so I decided to just get out and make the most of the slow traffic. I then threw up on a building, and then around the corner twice. A kind man came and took me to the offices bathroom and after checked that we had a way to get home. He then asked if I was pregnant. Nope. Just like to vomit downtown in the afternoons. Welcome home.

I did decide to enjoy my death by chocolate night anyways as I figured if I threw up it would be worth it. I feel a bit classier now having thrown up on the streets.

Starry Stars; Star

You look up and expect the stars to be starry and they are, and you know that the world is as magical as you imagined it to be.

There arent a lot of things that I find that really make me smile in that way where I cant stop it. where I am so drawn in it is like I am in a trance. But that is just what happens with the Last Unicorn. It leaves me feeling so incredibly magical and joyful. It brings hope in the dark situations and tells you not to run whilst around immortals as it draws their attention. I cant ask for much more than that. So as the stars shone extra brightly on me as I wandered the streets towards the place I call home I felt that magic was a little more real. I think that if I saw a unicorn I would recognize it and not think it is a mare.

Baby Stealing and Drinking Crack

I cant help it. Everytime I have a proper white hot chocolate I close my eyes and imagine it is like drinking crack. It is just so incredibly pure and amazing. It is probably the one and only drink that can just warm my insides entirely and make me feel like the world is safe. And that is how on a few hours into my morning but still pre 8 am began. Needless to say I was thrilled.

As the morning progressed a baby arrived. She soon went into a room with her mother and my life continued. Then as time passed I heard fussing. I resisted. Then I couldnt resist anymore and offered to take the baby during her treatment. She thanked me. And I was in heaven. I cant help it. I adore children. And it just feels so natural and comforting to hold a baby. They exude love and joy and perfection. Sadly when I asked if I could keep her baby forever she said no.

Luckily I got to go pick up cupcakes and eat one so that compensated for the whole left by the baby leaving. Work was odd today. None of these things are typical, but they are all incredibly wonderful. Maybe it is the little things that are out of the ordinary that are what make days. There is so much more to life than paychecks and rain.

Some Objects of Desire

Can we want something so much that it becomes unreal or unattainable?

I think I get so incredibly caught up in my head and my thoughts and my imagination and my wondering that I sometimes lose sight of reality. It is not like I live in a subspace that has highways that can get me places incredibly quickly. I just dont always see what is really there. Lately I have been really caught up in the fact that I am not married. And I know a lot of people would gasp or think I am being a bit ridiculous, I mean I am only ten times two plus three. But in my mind I had always thought I would be married and probably having a kid by this age. And the reality is that most of my friends are and I think that creates a sense of pressure on myself. A pressure I make appear because I dont want to be on the wrong path or incredibly missing out on what matters. So I get caught up in the past and mistakes and wondering what I did wrong if I did something to create this. And then I manage to get a massive feeling of loss and loneliness. And it is all created by me.

I wonder if I sometimes desire that next step so much that I am creating an insatiable impatience. I mean I am pretty sure it will happen some time. But I forget that. At least life manages to remind me of it in odd ways. Like how randomly yesterday a boy told me I was beautiful and I was in yoga clothes, a plaid shirt and converse. I didnt look great. And in that moment I was shocked, I forgot what it felt like to have someone even for one second look at me like I was something special.

The desire wont disappear. Marriage and family is ultimately what I want. But I think when there are small moments that remind me that there is hope for it that it will satisfy that craving until the time is right. Or at least I hope so. Because some days I want to just punch everyones love in the face so it shuts up.

Realms That Dont Overlap

So many things intermingle. We can find ourselves in some unknown place but have little things remind us of another time, or perhaps a person appears. It is just how things seem to work. Not much is truly isolated. And yet some things try and overlap and shouldnt. Sometimes there needs to be a divide. A line drawn. Not a line in the sand, those can too easily be washed away, or blown or walked over. A real line. One that separates objects. Similar to the supposed separation of church and state, although I dont believe those two can be truly divided.  I suppose I am just trying to say that sometime we need to recognize boundaries and what we have a say in, and sometimes that means holding our tongue. Realms arent always meant to overlap.