They are not thoughtless words, each word has been mulled over, and over and over. I have started heaps of posts this last week and abandoned them mid thought or sentence, sometimes even mid word. Not because I have nothing to say but because I have so many things to let out that I just cant seem to find the right medium, or the right words. So the thoughts just keep piling up until they begin spilling over. Coming out in a fury of words with few breaths taken as it pours out.
I was beginning to feel confused as to why none of these words were relatable to my blog. But then I realized that all of those things I wanted to unleash were tied to emotions and I didnt have words, just feelings. And furthermore all of those feeling related thoughts werent just to be tossed to the wind, they were to be saved for a time when I would be full of courage and ready to open up. So sometimes I think its best when I dont just scribble down or hit post for all of the things I think I need to share. Sometimes the thoughts are just too much thoughts and not enough in word form for here.
On an unrelated note, but in my mind entirely related note, I found a new thinking place. On the desk there is just enough space to sit comfortably next to the mirror with my knees bent and my toes against the wall. Its the perfect place as its inset and like I am not a part of the room when I sit there. It screams security. So thats where I go when I have those words to share. When exasperation starts my thought process you can know thats where I am sitting.
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