Beauty is skin deep. Dont judge a book by its cover. True beauty lies within. At least those are the things people say to you. But what happens when your outside reflects your inside?
I think I have done a pretty stellar job at appearing strong, driven and social. Although none of those things reflect me at all. Inside I feel small, scared, insecure and shy. But there is always something that can bring you to your knees and for a few moments the outside and the inside meet up and are on the exact same page. I have spent two days in bed. I get up and feel weak as I walk the few steps towards the kitchen to make another cup of tea. I look in the mirror and see emptiness as I feel drained. It feels like nothing can touch the pains and aches. For a moment I recognize that what I see is exactly how I feel. Its all of those suppressed feelings coming out in the form of physical illness. Is this a sign that I need to heal mentally and emotionally for my body to be able to heal physically? I am sure there is a correlation. I just dont even know where to begin.
Regardless, I will take on tomorrow with a brave face and insides full of painkillers and decongestants in order to mask the outward appearance of weakness. What you see is not often what you get. But how often do we take the time to really look deeper within someone and find out what is going on? And when you know something is wrong do you make your presence known enough that they will trust you will hidden secrets from their soul?
I am determined to be that someone for you, you were that person for me, and you are like me, you wont just open up. But I am not going anywhere, I hope you realize that.
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