Stunner.

Every now and again something happens that makes you stop. Its like the instincts of an animal. You hear something, or feel something, or get a sense that something just isnt quite right. So you stop dead. You just pause and hold your breath trying to decipher it. But perhaps it is just out of reach. Or its gone in that instant. So you brush it off, you take a few breaths and you try and forget about it. And you do. Until something a little more happens. Then it occupies your mind and you cant get it out until you deal with it. Until you figure it out, until you ensure that everything is okay. But in those moments, when fear has taken over someone will be there. Maybe it will be a middle of the night text when they cant sleep but its clearly waking hours for you. Or maybe it will just be something obscure. Either way, you will get back on track.

I still feel stunned. But the hours just are wrong. I cant do anything until morning. But somehow I keep telling myself it will be fine. I probably just am sensitive and cautious and my ears are perking up at the slightest nothing. So I will call and get some peace of mind. But until then, I may stay a little stunned wondering why those moments of feeling like you are in total control of your life can never last more than hours. Maybe thats the whole game of it, maybe we are meant to be constantly challenged. I suppose I would feel stunted if things werent always a little tricky. So as I lay in bed tonight I will accept the stunnedness and probably just blog.