Everything's Not What It Seems

There are so many words I cant say.
Words that have no home in you.
You changed everything, do you even know that?
You made words mean nothing.

I had your word.
You said it was temporary.
Things would be worked out.
Call it what you want, but it felt like a lie.
You were never coming back.

I want you to know I am strong.
I dont write because I am strong.
Its not out of weakness.
I do it because I am not going to let you dictate.
You dont deserve to cause me anxiety.
You dont deserve to haunt my sleep.
I am taking control of my life.

It has been 365 days.
You made a choice with more dominoes than you knew.
And yet I am one of the people picking them back up.
It feels unfair.

I am not angry.
I am not blaming myself.
I am just sad.
Sad at how its turning out.
Sad that it still hurts.

But I will get through this.
Tomorrow will come.
And I will smile.
And I will fake it everyday.
Until I dont have to anymore.