The Might Have Beens and What Ifs

"Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: 'it might have been!'"

I dont know who initially said it. It wasnt me. But It reminds me of a scrubs quote 

"In the end it's the what if's that hurt the most."

I am not sure there is a specific reason for it but I kinda have been thinking about this concept. Maybe it is because the past is never as far past as we sometimes hope or maybe because the future feels all too close. But somehow things are always changing and I get a bit scared that I will get caught in the winds of change and miss my moment. And by moment I dont mean 15 minutes of fame, I could happily avoid that, I just mean more the moment where I make a vital decision or cross the right path. It isnt like I am completely just lackadaisical I just suppose I havent had to make a lot of decisions that it seems like everyone else is. I just have lived in my own little world for so long, especially the last two years, it almost seemed like nothing else existed. I chose for my life to be basically uni and work to try and shelter myself from reality and in that I realize how much time I have let pass without making a mark. And I suppose it makes me wonder if because of that I have what ifs. But maybe the point of it is to realize that and to  make a change, to stop wondering and to do something about it. That is not my strong point. I am much better at writing then I am about changing. But it is time, I dont want to look back and wonder what all I missed out on just because I was too shy or too stressed about school or paying for it or something else that is irrelevant in the big picture. I think I need to just step out a bit and see what exists beyond the four walls I created for myself.