Ne Me Quitte Pas

I suppose the best descriptor would be that it was like a holiday from reality. It was like I was living in a world where good things happen. Where I was untouchable in a sense. Where I could just be me and the usual things that would get in the way wouldn't here.

I am wary to try and sort all my thoughts out at the recognition that it might be more than I want to admit. Or perhaps due to the minuscule chance the subject will read this and realize how much I actually care.

Exceeds expectations. That wouldn't even come close to explaining it. It was like a continual cycle of being impressed beyond belief. I was so wrong. Not that the first impression was poor, I immediately had found him handsome and soon after to have attractive traits. But it just didn't lead me to place him outside of the pack that I had found recently. There is just something that happens when you realize that you can trust someone and that they are actually in another book but the same page.

Perhaps it was the fact that the values were the same. Or that I saw so many sides of him and every single one just made me laugh and smile and feel like I was living in another world. I wasn't expecting to be blown away, or to see that he was someone I really meshed with. It just seemed like after two days I was in a place that usually takes me months to reach. And now that reality is looming overhead I don't know what to think. I feel apprehensive and a sense of anxiety.

I can't help but to wonder if it all wasn't too perfect to be real. Or maybe things that seem so beautiful just are because they are not lasting, like a flower. They come and share their sense of purpose but then either away.

I think what I want to say is that I realize I am leaving. But it honestly isn't that far. And I actually am a bit smitten and that scares the heck out of me. I don't even know if I should find a way to vocalize I care or if that is implied. All I know is something has to be said before I get in that car Friday. And I really want you to be the one to say it.