I like to exude independence. My ability to handle my own life without large necessity of others. Perhaps that is why I neglect to acknowledge the power of the male species. To mix it up I shall indulge on this tonight.
Lately I have been in a different space, mentally and physically. I have come to a place of quietness. A home that is not mine but is mine for now. The surroundings are full of trees and a lack of reception. The days are full of patients and the nights are full of softness and relaxation I haven't known for ages. Yet somehow all of this solitude and peace causes me to create confusion in myself. Mostly at the cause of males.
Case one. Random male makes me feel inferior for a change in career choice. Not purposefully but because he queries such choice as he had become what I hadn't. How can a few words from a stranger at the time cause so much self doubt?
Case two. Male who I had recently become acquainted with acted like a douche and somehow it felt like they was my fault. What the heck? I was actually normal for once.
There are so many other cases but the point is as independent as I pretend to be I am shockingly aware the impact that a few words or lack of from a male can cause. It is as if they have a power I can't avoid. I think that is why there are gender roles. Males and females compliment each other. They can say the exact things you do or don't want to hear and sometimes it just comes out the more powerful way because they are so dissimilar. It's easier to tune out a voice like your own. Maybe I am less powerful against the male species than I would like to think.
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