The Saddest Eyes

There was a time, perhaps there still is however it is just less frequent, where I used to think that if people could only read my eyes. Emotional expression is not a strong point for me so I feel that I hold it all in my eyes. This story isn't about me though.

There is a patient I have been seeing almost since I started here. To make it simple he is a gentleman of slight vintage that fell and as such had a brain bleed. When I first met him he was in a state that I am not sure if you could even call it living. He was breathing but that was largely the extent of it. He occasionally would follow someone with his eyes but was rarely in a state of real consciousness. The first time I worked with him I noticed it in his eyes. It was such sorrow. Perhaps a sorrow I will never understand. Yet in those moments I felt Gods love for him, and loved him as another child of God. His situation and the cause of such didn't matter. All that mattered was that I wanted to be there for him and for him to know he was loved. It has been many many days now and everyday I sre that sorrow. Twice I have wandered in during phone calls and seen the tears and agony. It is always in his eyes. But today he was sitting all on his own. He was replying to my questions and would hold my hand when asked. And when I went to leave he waved. And alhough I still see the sadness I al beginning to see some hope. It feels like the first miracle I have really seen. I wish I could express to him how much I care and that he isn't alone. But as the student constantly with an educator I don't know how, other than to pray for him.

It makes me wonder if all this time other people have seen sadness in my eyes as never known what to say or how to say it and prayed for me. We are never as alone as we think we are.