It's Not As If New York City Burned Down To The Ground

I know I shouldnt write in the moment due to the fact that emotions run high and that I may say something I regret. However in a sense it is the most honest of all my writing. So here I am. Tears streaming down my face, music up too loud, and feeling like I have literally had my heart ripped out. And for once it wasnt my fault. I just dont get it. I dont understand. It doesnt make sense that someone can tell me I have done all the right things and yet it isnt going to work. I didnt even get a real chance. It was a week of long distance. One week. And I tried so freaking hard. Harder than I ever have in any relationship. And what did it get me? A text that says oh hey sorry this isnt easy I am out. Great. Just my luck. Silence at the other end of the phone isnt an answer. I wish I could say I understand, and that I am not angry. But I am angry. Angry because we talked about this. This wasnt supposed to be the hard part and you said you were ready. I just dont understand how I could be so entirely wrong again. But for once I am not going to let a boy ruin all the good things I have going on. I am going to compose myself and go have dinner with a nice boy and try to let it go.