I didnt watch their wedding. I didnt care. In fact I had a few things to say about it. I mean I dont want randoms watching my wedding, its a private personal thing. So it just seems absurd for me to watch someone else's when I dont even know them.
However, today I someone sat outside for 4 hours along a fence by a building just to take photos of them coming in and out of a building. It wasnt my idea. Grandma thought it was important, maybe it was, but I went. And I enjoyed seeing them just meters away and realizing that they are real people. I also realized that I would hate that life. To have people waiting outside everywhere I go just wanting a glimpse of me. To have to have escorts and buildings checked for bombs. I just wouldnt enjoy that. End of my hyporcrisy today. Beginning of my patheticness.
He was a bit gorgeous and has his ducks in a row. He has a nice smile and was friendly and a bit charming. I was more nervous seeing him then the royalty I was there for. And I was too scared to get to know him. To strike up a conversation. He did have family there to host and an opportune time didnt happen. I mean it was not opportune when my whole family was staring with "get on that" eyes when he was in the office. I felt awkward, like I was a gawky teenager too scared to talk to a boy. It was pathetic. I think we could be friends, but we wont now because I just couldnt say much of anything as I let my shyness overrule anything else.
The hours I was there were full of hypocrisy and me being pathetic. I knew I left that place for a reason.
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