I had this whole other thought going on. Something else I was writing. But it all seems so petty and irrelevant at this moment. In a moment of perhaps inspiration I went to a page I usually only go to to torture myself. A page of someone I love dearly but everything has changed so seeing that face just breaks me. But tonight I did and saw that his father has cancer.
If you know me, you know that cancer is one of the few things that breaks me instantly. Within moments my heart was breaking and my mind was racing. I remembered all of the stupid, beautiful times I had with that man. The first time we were introduced, to the time in the haunted house when they all saw me at my weakest. I remembered the love that family reached out to me instantaneously and how they radiated with joy and welcoming. If only I had been so lucky as to have had them as my inlaws.
I sent a message of concern and love, sadly technology provided me with the last message sent. It seems like a lifetime ago. It was. And yet my heart still broke as I remembered the saddest breakup ever. Possibly the one that got away. The one that I know I could have married. The one that married someone else in a timeframe that seemed too soon. I wish I could say we remained friends. That you were still part of my life. But the only part of our lives that touch is those moments when I am here praying for your family hoping your father will be alright, that you will all be strong enough, and know you are strong enough, for this grueling time.
I love you. I love your whole family. And I will be praying for you.
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