Our beliefs were too different, plus your family hated me.
When you came back we had nothing in common, you were no longer the person I thought I wanted to marry.
I loved you but we argued, about every single thing and it just wasnt healthy.
You decided you loved your ex.
You were too nice to me, all the time. I couldnt handle it.
You were a jerk, and I never came close to being a priority in your life.
You knew that we would never be on the same page and from that moment on decided we couldnt work.
You just decided it wasnt right.
We were seldom more than a series of awkwardly interrupted events and yet there was something, it just feels a little onesided still although I had nothing to do with its beginnings.
I was willing to do anything for it to work but you werent ever willing to man up and give us a real shot post our fake shot.
I have learned heaps from each of you and many others, these were just a few that stick out. And I am grateful for that. But each one represents a little heart break, or perhaps a lot. I think I am ready for something that has an equal balance and not so much of one of us starting at nothing. I dont let go well, I am actually rather awful at it. But I cant help but to feel that the past is the past for a reason and its time to stop squinting so hard to see something in the future. Its time to be content with the present, even if it means a lonely night or two.
Real love wont leave me feeling hollow and empty or like I am reaching for something that doesnt exist. I already know it will be that feeling like the world is stopped and for that moment nothing else exists. It wont be forced. So perhaps I will turn away from yet another one sided window and just look at my new shoes as I walk along with my life, taking it one step at a time in the right direction instead of running to the past or trying to find the future under any and every rock I pass.
No comments:
Post a Comment