Getting Unlost in the Discovery for Happiness

I discover something I love and then often forget about it. Life and my choices dont always align for epic experiences to be had multiple times so then I forget the incredible peace I felt in that situation and then I just move on. Ultimately is not about where I live, its about living where I can be alive and be happy. And it may sound so cliche but I am constantly seeing people that just arent near as happy as they could be. 

You dont love your job, you need a change. You arent happy with how life has been going and yet you wont fight for yourself. You were broken and looking for an escape but you dont have enough faith in yourself to just go for it.

And yet each of these people could be me. I forget about myself frequently. I can see when someone else isnt as happy as they could be but introspection is always so much harder. Yesterday I learned to paddleboard and somehow it brought back a flood of memories, although I had never been paddleboarding before. The utter calmness of the river and the sun pouring down on me just provided the perfect opportunity to reflect. I remembered what it was like when I learned to wakeboard and how much I loved it, and then I never found an opportunity to go again. Or how I had heard about teaching yoga on the water on a surfboard type of situation and how I knew thats what I wanted to do. And then I never looked it up. Or when I went to Victoria and knew I wanted to live there, but I havent been back. So I paddleboarded and then just let myself soak in the self reflection and the sun that was continually penetrating my sun screen.

I realized a lot. I want to live by the water. I want to be able to wakeboard, or paddleboard, or surf (if all goes well this arvo) anytime. I also want to be close enough to the mountains and snow to be able to snowboard in the winter. I want to teach yoga on beaches or directly in the water because I find the ocean is extremely soothing and just sets up the perfect situation for meditation. I also want to move to Victoria. I have no ties there. I just love the feel of the city and am sure I could fit in, it feels like a city made for my personality in so many ways.

I dont know how the next 18 months will progress as there is little I can do in regards to moving before then, but until then I want to set myself up for discovering my happiness. I was saying this morning how I would rather be poor and happy than have heaps of money. If I can follow my dreams and set up a life where I can continually do what I love than I will be so much happier than if I had some money. I want to wake up each morning next to someone I love, in a home I love, in a city that I cant get enough of. I want to have a job that fulfills me and be able to spend my nonworking hours pursuing those things that I have found bring peace and a real form of joy. 

Its been so easy to forget who I am, to just settle for whatever is convenient or here. I am no longer ready to settle in any aspect. The last few days of deep conversation has reminded me that I have no reason to just take what comes and settle, I am so ready to fight for something more.