A Decision Without An Eight Ball

I have felt tormented with choices. Felt a paralyzing inability to choose. I felt like there were enough pros and cons to make both options as miserably happy as you can imagine. So when I was inspired to think of a third option I wanted to punch myself in the face. I thought "Lauren, you idiot, if you cannot decide between two things then adding a third is the most miserable solution!" But then I thought. And realized option three was everything I wanted. It was the best of both worlds. And so I made three pros and cons charts, thankgoodness I have a book of premade pros and cons charts (and no I didnt make it, I was given it as a gift). So off I went. And option three had the most pros.

So I made three choices. I texted two people. One seriously. One hypothetically. Then I went for a run to clear my head. Then I facebooked a third. The one person that I for some reason felt could help make it a reality. She is a young mother I have looked up to since before she even got married. I remember the day before she left for her wedding I told her that if she came back and was one of those weird married people I would never speak to her again. I wasnt joking. She came back normal. And ever since then I have wanted a marriage like hers. Needless to say, I really love this girl. So I asked for her help. And somehow just knowing that she would support me and at least peek around a few corners made it all seem real.

I know exactly what I want to do. And the thought makes me really happy. I just hope that I can make it a reality. With fingers crossed.