Glass Panels Are For Walking Into

I find it deceptive when there is glass panelling next to a glass door. How am I supposed to know it is more of a wall then a door? How can I be blamed when I continually walk into such things with hopes that it is an exit point. It isnt. And oddly enough you dont rebound off glass much. You mostly are just stunned. I mean not like this happens to me awkwardly in front of people.

Despite my inability to differentiate between walling and doors I realized how much has become transparent. I used to spend my time avoiding showing emotion. Trying not to care. I would argue about everything because I could. And I shied away from labels. I wanted my independence to be known. And I thought all of that was exactly what I wanted. Until now. Somehow as I watched another couple interact and then thought about my past I realized how much I have grown up. Not really grown up, I still feel like a child most of the time, but in a way I have. I can see the necessity of compromise and honesty. Of selflessness and openness. Although it all leads to a sense of vulnerability I would rather had remained unknown.

I suppose with glass at least you can see what is on the other side, even if your face happens to be plastered to it as you fall to the ground. That is so much simpler than the reality that has come with it. The realizations that I am so far from who I used to be but still falling short with insecurity and fear of the unknown. Perhaps if I walk into a few more doorless walls I will learn my lessons.