It should have been a roller coaster. One full of so many highs and the accompanying lows. But it wasnt. Perhaps it was built wrong. Or perhaps it was closed for the day. That seems most likely. Entirely closed. Not even open for maintenance. Yet it was moving. Moving along the empty track. Going through the motions without any real purpose. Just following the expected track as it should. However, with its emptiness it wasnt noting each raise or dip, it was doing nothing more than moving, mechanically, almost robotic like.
Welcome to the inner workings of me today. There has been so much silence yet I didnt realize it because my inner monologue has been screaming so loud, it's deafening, constant chatter has taken over. I didnt even realize how much so until you asked what I was thinking and I realized I was gone. There should have been emotion. But it was all so misplaced. I just felt disconnected. Like I was watching a foreign movie I didnt understand, not like I was living my own life. I dont know what happened. I dont know if I just opened my eyes. Or maybe I just am still broken and cant handle simplicity. I really am unsure. All I recognize was the ease and lack of emotion. I am sorry. Maybe I just need to be alone for awhile.
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