Accountants and Engineers Are Sad

The title is misleading. This has nothing to do with it. Regardless of how misleading it is I have decided not to change it. Mostly because I can always find some way to relate my writing back to something irrelevant. So here is the thing. I have always loved that scene in 500 Days of Summer when Tom first gets to see Summer's place. It provides such an insight into who she is and upon this entry he then is able to see more of her than anyone else had previously. Something about the way everything is placed around the rooms creates a moment for reflection. Possibly I have always just been envious of her wall paper and the beauty of all of her trinkets. Her character has always impressed me to an unreasonable extent. And for a moment yesterday I felt like I could relate to her.

There was a lot of silence. My work day seems to end earlier than those I co-habituate with so I found myself standing in the doorway to my room in silence and I saw it all a different way. I realized that in another step I would be into a different world almost. The space between these four walls is immaculately me. I treasure it like a secret haven. I like the bareness between the lightswitch and the bookshelf. The books on top of it are all full of stories not inside them but inside me. And that is nothing compared to the flag or the unicorn or the exact selection of books that reside next to my bed. And then it is a new world as it changes into the records and lyrics and my favourite place to sit when I need to be alone. It is a place that no one can mold otherwise and I saw how it is a massive reflection of who I am and my life. And maybe no one else will ever see it through the same light I do but that is part of the beauty. It is my own haven and in an odd way it bring a sense of belonging and security that I cant put into words. I think understanding the four walls is the greatest insight besides opening my journals and reading the thoughts that dont reach here.

And this all relates to how sad accountants and engineers apparently are because somehow after I learned that someone had a glance into my safe haven and now I wonder what was seen besides the obvious. I can look at each thing and feel so much emotion and life that resides in these inanimate objects and I think I want someone to be able to share that with the way Summer did.