Sometimes that seems to be a chilling feeling and other times it's comforting. Somehow tonight as my hair blows gently across my face it is both. It takes at least four times as long to get home this way but there is something about being outside and the independence of the journey that is comforting.
Things have been different for me lately. I don't know if there is a reason or not but I think it may be referred to as growing up. I have been appreciating what I have and what matters more than usual. I treasure family like nothing else and have been taking time to just be outside and to breathe in the air. I have been appreciating the health I have as I realize that it could be so much worse and I have started taking responsibility for it all, for everything. I suppose I have just finally come to a point where I recognize where I am at and I am accepting it and trying to make the most of it. Perhaps this is me learning to live now and not in either past or future. And maybe it is less philosophical and nothing.
All I know is that I have stopped feeling like I need someone and can't handle life. I have stopped wanting someone for the sake of them being there and started to remember what matters in someone to share part or lots of your life with. I am reminiscent of people that have changed my life and I feel encouraged knowing that I have met people like that before. I suppose I just feel really grateful because of I didn't I would get bogged down in the self anguish I create in recognizing failures. I am learning to love myself.
You move me like I've never been moved before.
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