Resolving (post a quick glance backwards)

Its that time of year. The time when you release the year is over and you either think back and realize what a magnificent year it was and you bask in the glory of it, or you think hallelujah, that year is over, if I had to relive it I would die. I will lean towards the later. So prior to my resolving I want to take a quick moment to peer back into the days that comprised the year 2010 in my life.

It was a year of ultimate change, of new beginnings and even more endings. It started with preparation for applications to med school. Saturdays spent studying for the MCAT and classes of death. And then it changed and I knew I was going to apply to PT school instead. So I jumped onto that ship instead. Concurrent was the foreclosure or my condo and the misery that followed as I frequented with the realtor until I got a cheque and a new home. As all of these changes swirled around I learned to snowboard, for real, and fell in love with it and the feeling of being up on the mountain. Amidst this relationships formed, broke, reformed and rebroke. Then it was onto another relationship- one that would come back in a new way months later. The days turned into spring term, french classes and ultimately a robot video that won me my yoga teacher course. It was the time of my first half marathon and a short relationship with another fellow. Spring also brought a professor with fresh love and perspective as I found out life changing news and my world began its crashing spiral. I moved home for a short period and on the way there I got a conditional offer to school. I fell into a time of pain and heartache. I journeyed back to the states to become a yoga teacher and to start on a path of healing as I came to terms with the effects of another's decisions. It included sleepless nights and long talks as friends returned from countries far away. And graduation, I nearly forgot, I graduated, hurray. Then a roadtrip to try surfing and to play pokemon. And then home, and surgery and work and preparations to move away once again. Then I visited Utah again, a final dasvedanya fest before I moved to Australia. It was my Christmas present, but no one could have seen what would happen. A relationship would change and that changed everything. Australia was next. Grad school began, new friends were brought into the equation and new goals were formed. And then the year started to close. And then it was now.

So after that long quick summary it seems like this year was okay. But the heartache part was so awful that it really was a rough year, one that hopefully has turned me into one of those diamonds that come from the rough. I survived though! And thats what matters. So I want to resolve.

I resolve to not be scared of love. To work for it and realize that what has happened around me does not define me or my relationships, those are mine and they will be different.

I resolve to achieve my personal fitness goals that are on post its in my room.

I resolve to become a better person and contributor to the world as I expand my horizons and find myself on a deeper level.

I resolve to embrace change instead of running and cowering from it.

I resolve to be there for you more.

So welcome 2011. I am so so ready for this year. I am embracing it along with the changes that have become integral parts of my life. Farewell 2010. Dont come back please. Thank you.