Dr. Seuss got it so right. And thats exactly how I was feeling this morning. I felt so lost and trapped and realized it was because I had wandered into that waiting place and I had allowed everything to become stagnant as I attempted to just wait. I would wait for a conversation or anything that might show how you felt. But mostly I was waiting for a decision. But today I realized I cant do this forever. Right now everything reminds me of you, and thats great. But I dont want to feel like I am holding back because you are not sure what you want. I think I just put too much pressure on something that really will just happen or not happen and I am not in control of it, so I should just go with whatever happens instead of avidly waiting. I hate the waiting place and it hates me right back. So I am leaving the waiting place, and what happens, happens.
And as soon as I realized that I felt incredible. I broke 6 miles and by far had my best run since I moved here. I came to terms with everything for once, and I did it without relying on someone else, well besides Dr Seuss and his infinite words of wisdom. So I have checked out of the waiting place. I still want you to come, basically more than anything, but now I am just going to keep living and if you decide to come and be a part of that, awesome.
ps. this would be the one post that might actually be decent for you to read. No pressure on it anymore.
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