What I'm Trying to Say

I have far too much time on my hands, time that does not have to be filled with studying. It should be, but its not a must since I have days and days to do it. So here I am yet again, sitting with my laptop, listening to songs that I know all the words too and eating my favourite lollies. But this abundance of unproductive time allows me to think, and when I spend too much time thinking I usually find myself in trouble.

There are so many things I want to say, but more than that I just want you to be able to be here and to see it. I would rather have us be able to laugh about things together because you were here when it happened. That would be so much better than me trying to find the words to type to explain each thing. Or just the sights. Whether its the flooding on my driveway or the tropical rainforest appearance amidst the great court on campus, I just want you to be able to see it.

But tonight I got lucky. I went out for pie with some lovely people, one of whom knew you. And even though we scarcely discussed you, it didnt matter. For once it felt like you werent so far, like part of you was here. It made you feel real again. Sometimes I feel like you are so much in my mind that you cant possibly be real outside of it, and it seems like its been forever already. So as I snuggle back under my giraffe bedspread I cant help but to smile a little bit more as I feel like you are not impossibly far tonight.