Perhaps She Is A Guardian Angel

Sometimes bad things happen. Or things just happen. And then it seems like no one else in the world could ever possibly understand. Circumstance can create isolation and feelings of aloneness like nothing else. And so often the hardest part of this is realizing that there are actually very few people who could ever really understand. For the most part understanding comes from personal experiences and often pain linked to such experiences. I think that is why when we find someone who truly understands we want to put them in our pocket and never let them out.

Meeting her was unreal. I mean we had met several times, perhaps hundreds wouldnt be an exaggeration. She was a part of my routine and life. Yet I dont feel like we had really met until one day I asked her a personal question, I needed help and had heard she had an illness in common with me. The conversation came and passed and we both walked our separate paths. This happened another time or two and life went on.

Then it was like we met again, for real this time. We were at a dinner celebrating a quarter of a century of someones life. And we somehow started comparing scars, scars that were the exact same from our previous surgeries. Then it melted into a sea of words and emotion and pain all flowing through a private conversation in a public gathering whilst we sat on the floor.

It was like I had met me from outside. Our situations were stunningly similar. We had the same histories of both family and health tribulations. So  much so that I had never met anyone before her, besides my doctor, that actually got what can happen when health was throttled by our shared enemy. But more than that, she got the emotion of a failing unit. Sentences were finished by each other as we poured out our concerns for siblings and mothers and the agony of recognizing that we may never recognize someone from our past again.

And when it was all said and done and I found myself brushing my teeth all I could do was to hold back the tears and thank her and God for loving me and for understanding. I dont think I will ever find the right words to tell her, but it was the first time I ever realized someone else could be going through the exact same thing. Could be in the same stressful life situation compounded with the exact same struggles on top off it. It really was like our lives were parallel. Perhaps she is guardian angel.