Misalignment

We have thoughts. And perceptions. And needs. And wants. And somehow all of these things dont always collide and intertwine. It is like when you analyze data and are looking for correlations and then see none and realize that the thought process and time might be in vain in a sense, only the sense that it hasnt produced the desired result and that the results may not be statistically significant. I think I am sensing this misalignment in my own life and it is causing tension maybe of the contention variety.

I think I have recognized wants and desires and felt overcome by them and then not realized the needs that exist and the fact that they may not be part of the same trail, at least not in the beginning. I have a tendency to have an idea and then to want to blindly follow it until the next brilliant thing pops into my mind, however when I allow that to come into play I sometimes overlook the necessities that require attention before the need.

It might be time to step off the path. To breathe and to take time for some self healing and reflection. I have been devoting time so many ventures, mostly lovely ones that are putting me on paths for growth and financial means, however I have been keeping preoccupied. I have chosen the ventures that are least painful in the other senses. I focus on knowledge and finances instead of emotion and healing. I think I might need to make some changes to realign myself. It is probably time to stop expecting the chips to fall into the places I want them. They will fall where they fall and I should accept that and begin working on moving them into place. I am terrified of uncluttering my life and seeing what I have left in the shadows. But I think it is time to start that process.