It was so many years ago now. Your friend didn't understand why you liked me because I came off so brash. Insensitive. Sarcastic. You tried to explain that I wasn't like that. And that I was shockingly vulnerable and soft, especially when night fell and fatigue would set in. In that sense not much has changed. I mean you have now been married for years and I know nothing of your life. It was a really long time ago. The world was different then. But I suppose some things never change.
The fatigue has set in. Earlier than it should in someone my age. But this has become routine. Along with the almost constant nausea. And as much as during the day I attempt wit and a strong front, when the evening hits I want nothing more than someone to hold me now. To hold me like they realize how much I feel weak and vulnerable I feel but at the same time in the way that they know I will never break.
I think the truth is I just want someone to hold me. Someone to be there at the end of days that feel long and somehow drain every last electrolyte from within. I want that warmth and strength that only another human can provide. Something beyond the power of each living breath. Perhaps if I feigned vulnerability and softness during normal hours it would be a more natural happening, but I cant help but to save such emotions for times of weakness. So wont you hold me now.
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