I may be neurotic. I didn't even realize it til now. This is what happens when I have excessive public transit time and forget my book on my bedside table. It just evaded my memory at the right time. So here I am, staring at the cement that encloses this part of the busway, listening to my friend t.swift. She probably reads this so I thought I better holla at her. So as I sit and stare I find myself thinking, not about anything but about everything. When do I do this when I remember my books? I don't. At least not enough. No wonder sometimes I feel scattered. I need more quiet, alone, thinking time. And by alone I just mean alone in my head. I wish my inner monologue took vacations more often. That would simplify this all.
So back to the bus sitting. Somehow it crossed my mind that I might be neurotic. Possibly because I realized I am listening to t.swift this week because I listened to Kanye sooo much last week, including my run, so I feel an inner desire to balance it out. And somehow with their whole public drama ordeal they seem to counteract each other on my musical weigh scales. It's like how I feel guilty listening to songs that appear over represented on my iTunes. Or how I hate having to sit somewhere different. I like the same place on the bus, or at a desk or a table. I like routine. I like personal space and cannot comprehend how others feel the need to invade these beautifully ordered things. Humans are not orderly enough for me sometimes. Or maybe I am just a bit neurotic and need to learn to step away from my preciseness in some things.
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