And only 16, 083 of those kms are kayaking across the pacific ocean (obviously split into three separate sessions as Japan and Hawaii inbetween.
And yet it feels like a million miles somedays. I suppose reality doesnt always or even often align with thoughts of perceptions. Today was one of those days. I just felt so far away from home, and for some reason knowing it would take 180 days to walk there and I would have to learn to kayak first just seemed discouraging. It was as if I was on another planet. One where all of the fun things from other planets are broadcast but not offered.
So there I was. Feeling frustrated with the situation and wishing I was home. Or maybe even just wishing that someone understood what home was like. And not just any home but my home. I wanted to be able to relate to someone and for them to be able to laugh about the things and places that meant something. And then it happened. In the weirdest way.
I was at church. Which is very typical for a Sunday. The atypical part was I had a friend with me from a different faith, so I had stopped to talk to the missionaries for a moment and it wound up into a whos who between my friend and the missionaries. And while they spoke I felt like I knew this missionary, like I someone had a connection but then I attributed it to one of two things. It was either we had seen each other in passing as we had established months before we had a physics class together many moons ago, or it was because I think Asians look similar. I know that sounds racist but I wouldnt be upset if someone told me Caucasians looked similar so I am standing by it. So there I stood entirely spaced out and trying to figure out why this name and person seemed familiar.
Honestly I spent the next two hours wondering. And then we were sitting across a table and I blurted it out. It was not a smooth segway. It was a "do you know sophie?" And then it all spilled out like a blender without a top on it. He not only knew Sophie but knew her well and Natalya. He then described the colour of my old house and how he had been there and then we suddenly knew a mass of the same people and had both been at Natalya's wedding, both opening Taco boxes. Which means we had definitely met. And I had met his sister several times as she was close with the two girls I love. It all came out. He was at the wedding I missed. And We had swimmer friends that were the same and he tutored a diver friend of mine and it was insane. And it felt like the world was just the world and not another planet. And it made my life feel real again.
Sometimes it feels like I have been gone for so long that none of those happy times existed or mattered. It feels like that wasnt part of this life and that they are separate and that that life has forgotten me. And so in those few minutes while we were stunned and putting together far too many ties it made it seem real. Really real.
Maybe 180 days walking distance from home is okay because it is still home and it will never forget me. And maybe it is okay to be homesick.
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