Two hours. They told you it was an adoption party. It will be one of the hardest goodbyes of my life. I thought I would have run out of tears by now. I havent. I look at your beautiful faces and I smile. I love you both so incredibly much. More than to the moon and back. And I have to let you go. I hate the system. So many children go to homes they shouldnt. I know you will be taken care of. They arent the worst. I just know I love you more than they ever could. I love you for all of the right reasons. So I dont want to say goodbye. I dont want to let you leave my life.
I am sorry that I cannot control it. The tears just come because of my love. But today you get to move in with two siblings, biological. The system says that is the best. You have a long road ahead but I hope you can look at the photo album of us and listen to the curious george story we recorded and hear our voices and remember us. I dont see the bigger picture. I dont understand the plan. I just have to find some faith and know you werent meant to stay. I just dont want you to ever forget how brave and strong and amazing and loved you are.
So in two hours I will go to McDonalds. I will look at them and try so hard not to be angry that they get you forever and I dont. I will smile at you through the tears. I will ask for too many hugs and I will leave sad. I will then go to a wedding and watch two people vow their lives together. How can one day be so full of loss and new beginnings all at once?
I wish I could just control my tears now and let them out now before you wake up. But I cant. And I dont do well with goodbyes. So I am sorry. I only cry because I love you. Today it will feel like we are the saddest house on earth because we love you so much. And I will probably feel this emptiness linger. But you are young. You are two resilient girls. And you will be okay. And maybe one day you will come and find us.
I love you infiniti to the moon and back.
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