Hundreds of days to a conclusion I knew from the start.

Nearly a year and a half. Filled with letters I would never send. Boys I would just compare to you. Moving away thinking it would resolve everything. And yet here I am. Almost where I was before, except in such a different place. I have changed in most ways. I met you and was so insecure and lost and just trying to find something to grasp onto to find an identity. And now I know exactly what I want for a future, I have direction, I understand my own religion better and I have a greater appreciation for life. I also learned what it means to truly be there for someone, and have someone there for me even in the most inopportune times. I thought that first time we talked I knew, and now I know I was so wrong then. You invade my dreams, and my workplace and my mind. And I cant help but fall for you a little more everyday. I spent that year and a half telling myself to get over you, and that I was over you, and that I would be over you for good. I was wrong. I currently cant imagine being over you, ever. I cant help but to think if there was not that one difference that things would be so different right now. You say the right person comes at the right time. I think i disagree. Love is so inopportune. Perhaps I do love you. Regardless, I am a better person for knowing you, and I will always be grateful for that.

ps too bad you dont read my blog.