My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

I actually feel like that describes my life a little in some ways. I let my imagination take hold of ideas and run vampant. Its like I cant help it. I get an idea and then I just think of how amazing it could be and it just keeps going and going. And the more I think about it the more excited I get for this idea and I start planning every second out in my mind. And then at some point I realize it was just a fantasy, just me wishing something would happen. And all at once its like someone lifts the curtain and I realize it was all just a show, a facade, and nothing was real. And yet I dont regret allowing my fantasies to grow because sometimes they provide hope or comfort or just something to look forward too. And every so often they come true.

I felt like I should bang my head against the mirror tonight as I realized my latest was so beautiful but twisted. And as I listened to this album I realized it was pretty much entitled for these moments in my life. If it was real it would be beautiful, we would be beautiful, but every single thing about it seems so messed up and twisted and impossible and the bleakness that is reality surrounding it is so dark, and that changes nothing. After I hit post its not like I will suddenly wake up from this fantasy and forget that I ever imagined it. I will continue sitting here trying to occupy my mind but really I will just be thinking of the possibilities and how to make it real. Thats just how it works with me. This time I have decided to just let it happen, dreams and fantasies are just another part of embracing life and so if it means I get my hopes up a little too high and one day it comes crashing down, thats okay, because at least I know its just a fantasy, but its my beautiful dark twisted fantasy, and today I love it.