I had no intention of blogging today. The last few days I have had little desire to write; I havent wanted to write notes, or blog, or in my journal. Nothing. And then it hit. I ran across a blog I had not read before. Yup, it was yours, and conveniently you blogged this weekend about your weekend, oh and reverting to single life. Sadly, that had meant I had once again joined single life. And then, for the first time really since it ended and I cried it out, I felt sad.
I know it sounds so simple. But I am not really known for being overly emotional. I try to avoid talking about things that make me upset or feel vulnerable. And yet here it is. I feel a void I didnt know was there. We are friends, and we talk and its lovely. Then there are moments and you say things that catch me off guard and then I dont even know what to think. But I guess I miss you, and I didnt even recognize it til now. I miss just sitting and talking about whatever, or fake fighting and other stupid things. That sucks hey. Maybe I just need to wait it out and tomorrow it will be fine again. I mean its been a week. I will be fine.
So I chose the Troodon because its eyes are so big they look sad to me. And thats kinda how I feel right now, most of the time when I am sad you can just see it in my eyes, they are a dead give away.
Dont get me wrong. Life is amazing right now. I am running almost everday, I am boarding tomorrow and am getting Dive lessons from an old Olympic Diver for an hour, I mean those are all cool things. Plus I have been keeping up on yoga and maintaining balance. And I am applying to a school I am stoked about. So it really is not like things are awful. Life is in balance for the most part. But I think tonight I will just let myself have a few moments to miss you. Then I will once again accept the reality of life and move on.
C'est la vie.
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