So today I just liked the Deinonychus because this kid I sit with in class drew a raptor on his page because I told him drawing dinosaurs was cool, and it looked like this one.
Sometimes I wish I had a tail, like a monkey tail to hang upside down by, or a fox tail, it would be elegant. But mostly I like the tail of the Deinonychus because it provides balance. I love balance. Whether its when I am doing a yoga posture or just in those moments when I find balance in my life.
Lately I have been more at peace with my life than ever before. I am not even sure why. I think part of it is because I have taken time to reflect. Maybe its because for once I let myself stop and realize whats really going on in my life. I mean I let myself have time to be sad, and to stress about school, and to contemplate a huge change in my future. And then I changed.
I went to the park and did Yoga, and as I was meditating I recognized how blessed I am and how happy I am. I am so at peace with my life. And everything feels balanced. I actually feel on top of my school work, except O-chem. That class perpetually slays every fibre of my being. I think I have two rebuilt friendships. One from someone I havent seen in awhile, and one from the end of a relationship. And both are going to be pleasant. I have the best roommate ever and my mother and I are much closer lately. Life is in balance. At least for today.
The other balancing act of my life feels like in that Dr. Suess Book, Cat in the Hat, where the fish is balancing on a ball, holding a cake and a million things. This portion of my life is planning for the future. I have spent the last, what feels like, 71048374892345 years planning on being a doctor. That was all there was to it. Then one day, during this period of peace and introflection, I realized I was not sure that I wanted to go to medical school. Part of it is purely grade related, I really do not think there is a huge chance of me getting into a school. I realize how competitive it is, I realize that you have to be intelligent beyond belief. And currently I am not in that category, not completely academically. And I do realize that I have a lot of other skills, I have research and work experience, I have volunteering hours and dedication and desire. So I have a lot to stand up for me. But then I realized, yah I do want a lot of things in my life. I may only be 21 but I do want a family one day, and I want to have kids I can take to the park and teach about dinosaurs. I want to travel, I want to do a lot of things. And I feel like that will be slightly inhibited if I go to med school. But then I realized all I could imagine was being a doctor, or something absurd, like Jurassic Park or unicorns. Luckily, last month I began being less stubborn and realizing that Physical Therapy caught my eye. I love my class about it. I love the thought of being a physical therapist. Its hands on, medical and life changing. And its only 2 years. This seems ideal hey? Oh and the school I have fallen in love with and want to go to is in Australia. No big deal right? So thats all. I think I am changing my life plans. And I am okay with it. We will see what happens.
But for now, I am living my life of a balancing act. And it feels in balance. And I am so at peace and so happy. Therefore, things are splendid.
love.
No comments:
Post a Comment