Power To the People, We Dont Want It, We Want Pleasure

I have never proclaimed myself to be ahead of the times or the founder of independence. I never thought I was cooler or hipper than anyone else. I have never fit into any real stereotype. But I do have a lot of opinions and sometimes I do relate to the "indie" scene extremely well.

I only knew of people like Usher in high school because my best friend at the time loved him. I listened to The Used and Senses Fail a lot that year. Her boyfriend understood. And the next year I really got into music. I was always on Purevolume, a site I thought everyone spent all of their time on. That wasnt true. I had years of listening to Waking Ashland, Matchbook Romance, The Spill Canvas and The Format on repeat. And because of this one day I became friends with the lead singer of Waking Ashland. I felt famous. We had breakfast together. After shows he would ask about specific classes I was in because we knew each other. And he was my first introduction to Kickstarter. In case you arent as indie as me Kickstarter is a website where you fund projects. You ask for x amount of money and you have 30 days to reach that goal in pledges. For each pledge you offer rewards. So for my first experience it was something like paying $25 to get the cd and a shirt when it came out. It was like preordering but it allowed the artist to fund the album independently. I thought it was novel. I loved it. So when it happened for Veronica Mars to make a movie I was obsessed and then again for Zach Braff's movie which has reached its goal and still has days to tick away. I read all the critiques I come across on this. Haters be hating. I think Kickstarter is changing the way media is created. And I love it. I really do. I am elated that for a rather minimal fee I will have a limited vinyl, a shirt, 3 art prints, the script and more. I like being a part of something, or creating art. Of feeling like a community in something that takes the power back to the people.

I think we all could stand to be a little more independent. To forgo the images that media says we should be like. To forget what people expect. And to be ourselves a lot more. I have always been a bit this way and I know it can lead to disappointment and contention and frustration, but I also know it makes me a whole heck of a lot happier when I am living for myself and not giving up control to the world. Kickstart yourself.

And Everyone Must Breathe Until Their Dying Breath

I am dramatic sometimes. Last night wasnt one of those times. I just couldnt breathe all the time. I decided I was a 7. If I hit an 8 we were calling 911 for oxygen if I hit a 6 we wouldnt worry. It was a very long night. But ambulance free and by 9 am this morning I feel more normal.

Sometimes I forget what its like. It just happens so suddenly. It really doesnt actually. It starts out small and then after a week or two the asthma wins and the airways lose. The downer is the steroids they put me on havent started working yet but they also make it hard to sleep and make me super irritable and emotional. Why is breathing so important?

However, it did force me to take a sick day which I never do and is likely good for me. So I may not leave my bed except for necessity today. I just want to be able to take a deep breath without coughing. To just be able to fill my lungs but I know that is a few days away. I am that typical prairie born girl with the asthma and the allergies. It isnt new. It is so typical. So why does it still scare me? I think I need to be braver.

Regardless, I think I am back to my regularly scheduled ambulance free life. For now.