Story of A Girl

It may be something in the air. Or just a point in my life where I need to feel like a girl again in a sense that I am so not in control and have so much to learn. I was starting to get complacent. I was gliding through work and just taking placement as it came. I wouldnt say I was entirely stagnant. I had chosen other really great areas to focus on but I think I knew that it wasnt sufficient. I just wasnt prepared to hear that.

I suppose there are people that like constructive feedback and I do sometimes. But not today. I  know how petty and immature that sounds but I just didnt hear anything positive I just heard all the things I could be better at and all I could think of how easy it would be to quit. And in that moment I realized that I was just like a little girl. As soon as the going gets tough the tough get going. Thats what I tell myself. But it is so false. I am so good at walking away when things are hard or when any form of change is required. I think I just need to step up my game and try and take on board that there are other ways to do things and that they could be better than the way I have in my mind. It just makes me wonder what else I am faltering at that no one has pointed out. It is so easy to forget that we always have such a long way to go.

This would all be so much easier if I didnt have an innate calm voice that comes out when I teach.