Silence Can Mean the Unknown, Thats Why I Have Headphones

I surprise myself with my quietness sometimes, but it is usually just a quietness inside. I feel uncomfortable in true silence unless it is nature silence which is calming to my soul. But when I am in a crowded place or a place that is not engaged in conversation and even some that are I crave music. I feel alone and naked without it. It is as if my mind requires the calming relief of the sounds to drown out its static. I think it is because my mind gets going and overwhelms me and it leads to thoughts of the unknown and the future and it is frightening. I like knowing. I like things to be precise and clearcut and simple. I like logic and answers. I do not like muddied waters or forks in the road that do not have clear signs and maps with them.

Lately the unknown has been nagging louder than normal. It is trying to drown out my crappy headphones since I broke my nice ones yet again, or maybe they broke themselves, I think that is what happened. Regardless, I feel like the unknown is taking over the known and leaving me unsettled. The things I used to think I knew appear to be misled or disappearing and it leaves me confused. I just want the static of my concerns to be drowned out by specific music of my choice and for things to just continue on the relatively unmoveable path of the next seven months. After that I accept the unknown but for tonight I just want to drown in the music and not have nightmares and not to feel my mind reaching at foreign possibilities and reminding me of inadequacy. 

Music may exist just to try and save my mind from itself.