Dasvedanya

I dont know why but everytime I think of saying goodbye I think of the Russian word Dasvedanya- til we meet again. I read it in some book I think in English class in grade 9. So basically forever ago. And I dont even remember what the book was but I just remember the lady saying Dasvedanya and telling the boy that it was not goodbye, just til they met again. So for the last few years I have found myself in far too many farewell situations and Dasvedanya is always that instinctive thought.

The last few days brought about a whole new breed of farewells, and anyone that knows me really well knows that farewells and I do not mix. I get super emotional and have a hard time actually letting go and saying my well wishes when I know I wont see someone for an extended period of time. I dont know why it is, I just really struggle with it.

But the time finally came where I have graduated from BYU and am moving back to Canada for a little bit. And that meant saying goodbye to the city that has been my home for the last 4 years, saying goodbye to a place full of memories, love and best friends. And once I got back home it hit, I had left it all behind. The tears flowed and I realized it was real, I didnt live there anymore, I didnt go to that school anymore, I was somewhere else.

Dasvedanya is how I have to think of it thought, I will see all of you again. It just might not be right away. If I thought of it as goodbye it would be too hard. I wouldnt have been able to leave. And reality is some goodbyes felt nearly impossible to leave. Some left me out late into the night because I couldnt stand to think I wouldnt see you again. And some left me crying as I read farewell texts full of love.

So Dasvedanya my dear Provo friends. I love you. And miss you already. So, uhm if you want to come visit me in July I will be in Canada for the Stampede.. just an open invitation there.

Dasvedanya - til we meet again.

ps Some goodbyes last week were permanent. You are in a better place now, and I will keep telling myself that until it doesnt hurt. I love you, and you are missed.