Ankylosaurus

Fact. The Ankylosaurus' were known as the armored tanks of the dinosaur world. They had clubbed tails formed by bony plates that were fused together, this was their most formidable weapon.

The Ankylosaurus is my favourite dinosaur, it exudes beauty and strength and is known for its protective nature of its young; hence I feel it is an appropriate beginning to this epic journey of my writing.

I am nearing one of those checkpoints in life. Close your eyes and remember playing like Super Mario Brothers and when you have to reach certain points or when you die you go back to the beginning, don't act like you dont know what I mean, because I know you do. I am at one of those points. With graduation fast approaching I am reaching a spot I wont be going back before. I wont be going back to undergraduate studies, and its highly unlikely I will even be at BYU taking classes again. Checkpoint.

In the observance of this checkpoint reality is definitely hitting. For once I have to find my own path. I wont just be going to school and working. I will be looking for a job I want to do long term, and waiting to hear back from graduate programs and medical schools. Its kinda a huge change. I have gotten so used to just being a student and working in the summers I actually cant even imagine what it will be like to be in a different place. I mean I can sit here and imagine Unicorns and dinosaurs and when I hear stories I can draw them out in my mind, but its like trying to imagine my wedding, I just draw a blank. I would be the worst fortune teller ever, I have little vision of the future. Although that makes it sound like I don't have a future. Its not like that, not at all. I just don't know where the future is taking me, thats all. Oh, and surprisingly, I am okay with it. Initially the unknowingness was killing me, but I decided to take it all in. This is going to be such an epic adventure as I figure out my real future.

However, in all of the changing and growing up I have found myself more I think. I have learned that the only way I can deal with stress is to think it out logically and then to meditate. I am pretty sure knowing this will save me at some point. Or like every other week when I have 700 thousand exams. Or like how I realized how happy coffee shops make me. There is something therapeutic about sitting in a coffee shop with someone. Although there is a major stipulation, it has to be with someone you can really just open up and talk to. I find coffee shops bring out the real me more than most locations, its like they lure me in and their quaint atmosphere just opens me up. Perhaps I should live in one. That would actually be amazing..

The reality of all of this incessant word vomit is me realizing my life is changing. And it's as if I should be growing up, and I am, but I have decided to not lose myself in growing up. I will still play pokemon on my gameboy between classes, I will still read about dinosaurs, and imagine unicorns being real. And as ridiculous as I am, well I am happy. So I will take my longboard, and my plaid shirts, and meditating and coffee shops anyday and everyday, over conforming. I am happy with who I am, and I am pretty sure thats what is most important right now. Hm. Epiphany. And this is why I blog. It brings out how I feel in ways that I dont realize, until I start writing it.

Moral. The moral of this novel of thoughts is that life is changing. I mean the ankylosaurus was such a powerful and majestic creature but change brought about its extinction. No matter how in control we think we are we really have no idea what is around that dark corner, or whats underneath the water below. So instead of stressing about the future and finding yourself walking about with nightmares about the future, its best to just find what you like and stick with it. I am not saying avoid change, infact, EMBRACE it. But while you are on a path towards change don't forget who you are and what makes you unique. All those quirky things I like is what shapes me. So I am going to look for a jump rope and perhaps swing in a park, because it will be fun.

Thanks Ankylosaurus for your beauty, perhaps one day I will leave a legacy to inspire like the way dinosaurs inspire me. Peace.