I understand rush hour. I have learned to be patient when it takes me 60-75 minutes for a 40 minutes commute to get home from work as everyone else is trying to do so and our road system is poor. However, this week is really wearing me down. Last week it was major road closures because of flooding. Ninety minutes to work on Friday, Fridays are typically 35-40 minutes and I leave early enough to avoid traffic. Monday it was only 15 minutes longer than normal. Tuesday and Wednesday, even with the roads back open, my quiet morning drives became 90 minutes. This morning a bridge started to collapse into the river, with 5 train cars on it, carrying 80,000 kg of flammable/explosive material each. This led to a radius being closed involving all roads going to the South. I live North of the city and work near the city's south limits. So 2 hours again, even with leaving at 6 am!
I dont think I can handle this. It is exhausting crawling along roads. Feeling tired and hungry because you left so early. Feeling anxious because you cant do a single thing. And then hearing every single time that the mayor (whom I dislike greatly) urges employers to ask staff to stay home and to provide a day off. My employer is the hospital, days off dont exist.
The hospital is over capacity because of the flooding. A whole town is still flooded and residents havent even seen their homes in a week. Some roads and railways are entirely destroyed. And yet we are expected to show up to work like nothing is happening. I just want a day off to do clean up. To try and make a difference. Instead I am looking for an empty hospital bed to claim because with the current commute I am much better off sleeping here than commuting for four hours a day.
This whole crisis hasnt outwardly affected my life but it is really wearing me out. Floods suck.
Showing posts with label hospital. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hospital. Show all posts
22 March 2013
Warning: May Contain Explicit Content
The last two days were days I would rather not repeat. I used to think I was tough. Apparently I am not. They were awful. I would go back to the beginning but I dont know where it is. So I will just skip to yesterday.
The day before today was the blessed day were I had the great chance to have both an endoscopy and a colonoscopy. Some how having something shoved down my throat and then up my butt is not my idea of fun. But to make it even better I was able to take 4L of laxatives the day before/morning of. It was awful. But I kept telling myself that at least the procedure would be painless as that is was all of my predecesors told me. They lied. I know I was partially drugged but I have the extremely vivid memory of intense pain and me crying through the pain during it. It was awful. And to make matters worse they said everything was normal! I know, I should be happy. But my inability to feel well doesnt make that my response. I have had regular nausea for a year and a half and with that I have a new sense of motion sickness that makes long car rides and elevator rides a disaster. So them saying they found nothing after torturing me was not my idea of a good day.
Today is the day after. I feel less miserable than the day before but the random cramping and the sore throat along with the papers saying I am fine only frustrate me. I would like a new set of organs. Ones that fail less.
I recognize this is complete whinging. That I could have it so much worse. I am quite lucky and I know that. But I also think that with technology these days it shouldnt be so hard to find out why I feel so sick so often. There has to be an explanation for the nausea and stomach pains. I just wish I could find someone that knew that explanation. And preferably without the pain of yesterday.
On a happy note on the way there my grandparents were driving me and my grandpa played the most awful song. He claimed it was "music to have a colonoscopy to". It was dreadful. Like the colonoscopy. He might have been right.
I am off clear fluids though which makes me a much pleasanter person than I was when I was being starved though so that feels like a good step forwards after feeling like I took a zillion steps back. Maybe I will just go to mind over matter and just ignore it if I feel nauseous. It may work.
The day before today was the blessed day were I had the great chance to have both an endoscopy and a colonoscopy. Some how having something shoved down my throat and then up my butt is not my idea of fun. But to make it even better I was able to take 4L of laxatives the day before/morning of. It was awful. But I kept telling myself that at least the procedure would be painless as that is was all of my predecesors told me. They lied. I know I was partially drugged but I have the extremely vivid memory of intense pain and me crying through the pain during it. It was awful. And to make matters worse they said everything was normal! I know, I should be happy. But my inability to feel well doesnt make that my response. I have had regular nausea for a year and a half and with that I have a new sense of motion sickness that makes long car rides and elevator rides a disaster. So them saying they found nothing after torturing me was not my idea of a good day.
Today is the day after. I feel less miserable than the day before but the random cramping and the sore throat along with the papers saying I am fine only frustrate me. I would like a new set of organs. Ones that fail less.
I recognize this is complete whinging. That I could have it so much worse. I am quite lucky and I know that. But I also think that with technology these days it shouldnt be so hard to find out why I feel so sick so often. There has to be an explanation for the nausea and stomach pains. I just wish I could find someone that knew that explanation. And preferably without the pain of yesterday.
On a happy note on the way there my grandparents were driving me and my grandpa played the most awful song. He claimed it was "music to have a colonoscopy to". It was dreadful. Like the colonoscopy. He might have been right.
I am off clear fluids though which makes me a much pleasanter person than I was when I was being starved though so that feels like a good step forwards after feeling like I took a zillion steps back. Maybe I will just go to mind over matter and just ignore it if I feel nauseous. It may work.
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