Someday You Will Be Loved

I used to think this song was sad. As if it was a boy singing to a girl as he left her. Or perhaps as if it was a note left on a nightstand as he slipped away into the night. It exuded a sense of loss and sadness I suppose. And I liked that. I liked the sad imagery for some reason. But it isnt like that anymore. It is better. Somehow it sings of hope tonight. It is a boy leaving a girl because she deserves better and he knows that. It is his recognition that he cant give her the love she deserves and so he leaves her, knowing it will hurt but that one day she will forget him and be better off.

I am that girl that when things with a boy fall apart I generally spiral onto a path that is far too familiar to the days when I was depressed. I usually eat excessive amounts of chocolate, cry in the shower, listen to sad songs and buy myself things. But somehow that isnt who I am anymore. There is still an untouched container of ice cream in the freezer, nothing has been purchased and the music is as random as any other day, and tears are as nonexistant as they should be.

It is like a light has literally went on within. One that just finds hope in everything and is actually believing the words that are usually said. Instead of just saying things are okay and its for the best I actually feel that way about everything lately. It just seems like whatever life is throwing at me I am ready for. This is new. This isnt how things usually go. I think I just have realized that my self worth isnt resting on anyone else. Or anything to be purchased. I have been so unproductive in things I couldnt change previously and now I feel so mature in a sense as I actually am just stoked about my life.

"The memories of me will seem more like bad dreams. Just a series of blurs like I never occurred. Someday you will be loved." Those were the words you couldnt find but should have said. Someday I will be loved.